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life sucks when you are ugly and she doesnt love you

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by touglytobeloved, Feb 1, 2008.

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  1. touglytobeloved

    touglytobeloved Well-Known Member

    No one loves me, exept my family ofcourse, they will love no mather how i look like. but i know im ugly. And it hearts. And I cant do anything to change it. there is one girl that i love her so much, that i cant leave without her. I know that she can never love me, thats why i cant tell her about my feelings. Maybe she knows. I guess. But... She is very beautifull. Im not She doesnt love me and she cant love me. I know.
    I just wanna be loved, but its impossible. ((((((((((((
    My life sucks. Doesnt worth to live it. I cant live anymore. I just wanna close my eyes, and gone... I just want to have a button and when i press it, to turn my self off. But there is not. I cant end my life without hurting someone. I just cant do that to my family. What will people say? They cant understand me how i feel. They dont know that I can LOVE too. I have friend. Not many, but enough. But only friends. I want some more. Like the others. I want to be loved. I love her, but she doesnt love me. It hurts. It burns. Its killing me. I just know that one day i can not handle anymore with this situation. I will tell her what i feel. She will say that she doesnt love me. And what than? My life doesnt worth without her. Its meanless.
    I know that there is only one solution. One day, i have to do that. I must finish with my suffering.
  2. resistance

    resistance Staff Alumni

    You think she can't love you, because you think you're ugly? Who has said you're ugly? Have you approached this girl? You may be surprised with the outcome. Get to know her (if you haven't already), strengthen your friendship. It doesn't all come down to looks. Anyone that turns you away because of your looks seriously are not worth your time. It's much better to be loved for the person you are, then to be loved just because of the shape of your nose.

    Not one person on this earth is ugly. Wow, that's a heavy statement but if you think about it, it's true. What one person finds unattractive, another person doesn't. At the end of the day we are all individuals and are into different things. If this girl does turn you away, then there's plenty more out there that may well like you. Take things as it comes, chat to this girl, strengthen the friendship, and see how things go.

  3. emptytank

    emptytank Active Member

    touglytobeloved - as you type, there are guys your age who have more than one girl fighting over them, which reduces the dating pool for guys like you and I. There are other guys who aren't happy with having just ONE girl, so they hook up with other girls behind their g/f's back. THOSE are the people that you should be taking your frustrations out on. You deserve better.
  4. touglytobeloved

    touglytobeloved Well-Known Member

    She is my friend, maybe one of my best friends, but thats all. We spent a lot of time together. Sometimes we laugh (im only happy when im with her), sometimes we fight for some stupid things, and after 2 minutes we are OK again. maybe we will be friends forever, who knows. But we cant be nothing more. She is everything for me, but for her, im only her friend. I know her to well, and i know that i dont have a chance. But, as someone said, hope dies last. I hope. Really hope deep inside me, that there is some chance about us. That hope is dying from day to day.
    And ive tryed to rich her. Not directly, but i have said some words to her. I think that she knows that i love her, but she doesnt realise that im dying for her. I cant spend a minute without thinking of her, i cant spend an hour without calling her on the phone, and i cant spend a day without seeing her. And i know that she is going out with some other guys, who look nice. And they are so happy... They are not like me.
    Ithink she knows that i love her, but she doesnt want to realise and understand that. Simply, she doesnt want. I know that ill do my best to make her happy, ill give everythink i have for her happiness, but i think that she cannot love me, ever.
    And you are right, "It's much better to be loved for the person you are, then to be loved just because of the shape of your nose." But, do you know someone who feels like that? No one is trying to get you know better if you are ugly. How can she see the true me, if she doesn get interested, if she doesnt try.
    And yes. One day i must tell her about my feelings. Probably i will. And i know that she will say she cant love me. I just know that. there are some signs in our relationship that are showing me that. And than what?
    Maybe youll say im crazy, im fool. But, thats me. I wasnt like this in the past. Not until i fell in love with her. Now im changed. I love someone. Its a great feeling. But it hurts so much when it is not a common feeling. I love her. She will love someone else. Maybe shell be happy with him, maybe not. I dont know. I dont think that i will get know. I just dont believe ill still be here when i will realise that everything is lost. I feel like i have lost everything, and she is the only thing i have that makes me happy. When i will lost her forever, im lost to.
    My love about her will stay after me. My love can not die, no mather what happens. Even if she tells me that she hates me, i will still love her. Maybe more.
    I just wish happiness for her. If she can love me, ill be the happiest man in the world. But if she cant.... I only wish her to have someone who will love her only half of my love. I want to wish her to have someone who will love her as much as i love her, but i just know that its not possible. Such a great love as i feel it, can be born once in a 1000 years, and only one man of 6 billion people can love sooooo much. That love is born, and im that man. But im said because love is not returnend the same.
  5. touglytobeloved

    touglytobeloved Well-Known Member

    emptytank, i dont want better, i love her. Maybe i deserve better, maybe you do to. Maybe you are in the same situation, I dont know. But when you love someone, she is everything for you. You cant live, you cat breed without her. Its true, i know, trust me. I dont care about others, how many girls they have. I just want her. I cant have her. I dont say that i love her, im saying that i LOOOOOOOOOOVEEEEEEEEEEEEEE her SOOOOOOOO much.
    My life is meanless without her.
  6. Vargas

    Vargas Member

    One thing,all men are ugly.
    Your love for this girl is a little bit cosmic.:huh:
  7. danni

    danni Chat Buddy

    :hug: i agree
  8. touglytobeloved

    touglytobeloved Well-Known Member

    I am with this girl almost every day. She lives 100 meters away from me. I know her well. We have a friendship. We talk each other. And i know that she doesnt love me. I can sense that. Thats why i cant ask her directly, because im afraid from the answer.
  9. theleastofthese

    theleastofthese SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Ugliness is just appearance. I feel ugly inside, all the time. Ugly, as in "useless". You sound young. Please give yourself a chance. I ve used up my chances as I am old, and getting older. PLease give yourself another chance. You are yet young and life can improve.
  10. touglytobeloved

    touglytobeloved Well-Known Member

    Ugliness is my reality. Uglyness is my sorrow. Im ugly, and the girl I love can not love me because of that. Im young, yes, but i know that my life cant improve. Yet i hope. But i cant give myself a chance. Chance for what?
    Others can give me a chance. She can give me a chance. Only if she is going to say that she loves me....
    How can life be improved without love?
    Maybe you are older, and getting older, but you have someone who loves you.
    Im young, but she doesnt love me. I feel much older than you because of that. I feel..... dead inside....
  11. Dreamer uk

    Dreamer uk Well-Known Member

    You are not ugly, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

    You cannot pin all your hopes on one girl, there are plenty more out there so don't worry about it.

    You will change as you get older and get more experience of life, superficial attractions are shallow and short lasting.

    I hope your relationship works out with this girl, try to spend time with her and try to let her know you are interested, and if not then it is not the end of the world. Time heals, you will get over it.
  12. beauutyy

    beauutyy Well-Known Member

    wow. so umm,if you're young..im sure that you'll eventually meet someone that will love you back,unconditionally and whatnot.and i know you have alot of love for this girl. and i mean..im sure you're not that ugly at all.dont put yourself down so much. girls like men with confidence,and if you put yourself down all the time like that...who knows what she could be thinking of you if she knows what you think of yourself. and if this girl ever did,love you back im sure it'd be for more than your looks. if you guys hang out and talk as much as you say you do,she'd love you for who you are and how you've been there for her.

    so dont put yourself down. how do you know that there isnt another girl out there that wishes to be with you,but she's scared because she has a feeling you're crazy for someone else? im sure you'll be loved eventually within time. and just stay strong,and dont let a girl be the one to drive you insane and down the path of killing yourself. it's not worth it,when you have some much to see and explore in life.

    much love<3
  13. Panther

    Panther Well-Known Member

    very true what you say, and I agree not one person is ugly, but for a guy it really isn't that simple if you have a real fear of rejection. I think the only way to conquer these kinds of situations is to increase your self esteem and confidence.

    Eh? That's a weird comment, but I agree with the last sentence unfortunately.

    Yes this is right, but I know from personal experience how easy it could be to pin your hopes on one girl, especially if you're shy. Eek, it's a tricky situation, but I think the OP first needs to deal with why life is meaningless without her.
  14. touglytobeloved

    touglytobeloved Well-Known Member

    Maybe you are all right. But you dont know me. You dont know how is to be me. I really dont look nice. Not at all. I also have had a surgery on my leg 8 years ago, and still having problems. My wound doesnt want to get better, i cant move my leg in the ancle. And that just one plus to make my situation worst. And i think that there is no girl in this world that can love me.
    Also, I love this girl, and she doesnt love me. So my desire is bigger and bigger from day to day. I cant explain exactly what I feel about her. I really cant.... It is impossible to be written and told with a few words.
    I wish you all to feel what im feeling about this girl ( its a wonderfull feeling), but i also wish you that love to be returned to you the same from the other person. Because otherwise it hurts so badly.
    Maybe you cant understand me how i feel. But try to put yourself in my situation, try to be me in a moment. Than maybe you'll understand a little bit. Only then you might understand my sorrow.
  15. nagisa

    nagisa Staff Alumni

    Do you really think that no one else has felt that kind of pain? I mean come on.... out of all the people in the world and a small collection of a bunch of depressed/suicidal people on this board do you really think no one here can understand what you feel in some way? No we are not in your exact situation but I can assure at least one person can understand what you are talking about with unrequited love. That person is me. And I'm 99.999% sure there are other people on this board who feel the same way. I don't mean to sound harsh but you have to understand that other people can help you if you give them the chance. Stop being so hard on yourself. I'm sure you aren't ugly. I agree with the people who posted before that no one is ugly. Because even if you aren't blessed with the greatest looks on the outside the inside is what matters in the end. You will find love. If not with this girl than with another. Don't give up. Take care of yourself!! Learn to love yourself. At least try to learn to love something about yourself.
  16. BlackPegasus

    BlackPegasus Well-Known Member

    First as far as looks go I do know that love isn't about looks. Sure people may look for what they find attractive in a person and they may grow to love that person but love has a way of seeing past what we perceive to be flaws in ourselves. What we may look in the mirror and call ugly may not even be something the person who loves us would notice. It's not the image we grow to love but the person.

    Love can also lie to us. As painful as it is we can live without someone. And as time goes on we often find ourselves loving someone else. Our hearts are capable of this and it doesn't minimize our love in any way. But of course our whole happiness should never depend on getting the love of another person. We have to love ourselves first and foremost. By that I mean care about ourselves and see ourselves as worthwhile. Find meaning in other areas of life besides love. No love from another person can replace that. Trust me. If we hate ourselves we will still feel bad even if someone loves us.

    I will venture to say we have all, or at least most, felt this intense love you feel. It seems like stress because it is so strong and we want so much to have it returned. But this kind of love can drive someone away because it can seem overpowering. It can become controlling. Lasting love takes patience and time even if it hurts. It takes respect for the way the other person feels. It isn't just about your feelings. That's the beauty because we put the other person's happiness above our own. It's an amazing feeling much different than the intense, out of control love. That is what it can grow into if it last.

    You can get through this. So many of us have even though it felt like we wouldn't. We felt like no one else could understand the pain we felt. We felt like we would die. We truly believed it would last forever. So let me be honest. This pain does not go away quickly but it does get better over time as hard as that may be. And in time you may be surprised to find that person who truly loves you back. It may or may not be the person you love right now.

    I know saying it will all work out doesn't make people feel better. I know nothing I could say could make you feel better right away. I also know I don't have all the answers. I simply am sharing what I've discovered having been where you are. :hug:
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 3, 2008
  17. nagisa

    nagisa Staff Alumni

    I completely agree!!:smile:
  18. Argh:D

    Argh:D Guest

    Well I agree with BlackPegasus that you need to learn to love yourself. Get some hobbies, make some new friends and go to the gym etc.

    Then, while still being friends with this girl, go out with some other girls, (stop worrying that you're ugly and just be confident, it won't matter then), and subtlely make sure your friend knows about it. Then as you're going out with some girl, gradually cut down contact with this girl you like and she'll feel jealous and hey presto you will have this girl. And if not you'll have some other girl anyway.

    And for f***s sake, stop being such a pussy about being ugly, cause it doesn't matter as much as you think. The main thing you have to achieve is to change these "friendship" feelings she has into sexual feelings. And that means being a confident, assertive guy who pretends not to care about her while making her massively jealous. If you have a brain and a pair of balls you can do it despite being ugly. Go for it!
  19. Esmeralda

    Esmeralda Well-Known Member

    I don't know what you look like, but it really doesn't matter. Julia Roberts married Lyle Lovett, Angelina Jolie married Billy Bob. People fall in love with PEOPLE, not looks. Honestly, if you feel that she can't love you because of your looks, she doesn't deserve you at all. She may love you, she may not. But love is a matter of two people, two souls who connect on a psychological and spiritual level. Do you think that 2 80-year-old people look at each other and think, "Damn He's/She's hot! No. Love is 2 people growing old together and living their lives as a single person. And yes, many people before have felt this way. I know you think this is a 1 in six-billion deal, but the fact is that the best poetry, the best songs, the best movies have been written about this very thing. You are NOT alone in this. And you can get through this, even if she does not feel the same way. And even IF she does not love you romantically, she may still love you as a friend, which can be equally as valuable, if not ideal.
  20. touglytobeloved

    touglytobeloved Well-Known Member

    Dont you think ive tryed to become closer to some girls in the past? I did, bud i failed. They just dont look me like that. The maybe like me as a friend, but only as a friend. Sometimes i can be funny and laugh people. Im good as a friend. I can keep a secret. A lot of my friend have told me some things about themselfs that havent told to anyone else.
    Not just friends, my associates to. If they need some help, they ask me first. A couple of week ago, one of them asked me if I can find some supplies he need. I said NO. He told me that in the past i couldnt say NO, that for me everything was possible. And he was right. Its true. But in the past. Not this last few months. I still did find what he needed, i help him, but this time I did it only for him, not for me. Yea, thats true, i live my life for the others, not for me.
    Also, a have had some hobbies, a have a job, i mean i work for me, private, but in the last year i left almost everything. I left my job to go down, i have missed a lot of new chances, not that i couldnt realise them, but i didnt want them. Also, I dont go offen with my friends. In fact, i dont want to be related here in any way. I want, when I decide to go from here, to go free from everything. Because in the last 8 years havent happened anything beautifull to me. And a realised that it might never will. But still there are 3 things that keep me here for now: 1. my love for this girl 2. i dont want to hurt my family 3. i still hope, a little, but i hope
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