I dont know why I go on sometimes. I feel my life is just slowly wasting away. I have thought of suicide on and off for a number of years now. My life is miserable. Its like one bad thing that happens behind another. It seems something always bad happens to me. I feel so alone sometimes. People dont seem to understand how much pain I'm in. They dont understand how much my social anxiety and phobias effect me. I dont see myself in any happy future. I dont feel I even have the support of even my own family. I wasted a good portion of my life away and dont have much to live for. My life is a total mess. If I were have a heart attack and die now I'm ready to go.