Life, the universe, and everything else

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Doc, Jul 22, 2007.

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  1. Doc

    Doc New Member

    Hi. I'm 18, six feet tall, 205 pounds, probably considered overweight. I graduated high school in June. Currently, I live in an apartment with my father that I may be getting evicted from. My father is retired and on social security disability at 1800 dollars a month, half of which goes to rent. Sometimes I wonder if I'll be able to eat that day. I work at a small restaurant where I can get free food, at least while I work. I have literally no friends. Aside from work, I sit on my computer all day. I have no car and no license to go anywhere. I'm hideous, and I have been rejected by virtually every woman in the world. While people say I need to be confident, I once was, but it was completely destroyed by women.

    I'll never be loved, and I'll probably never have good money. I want to kill myself just to start over. I hope I can be reborn with good looks and in a rich family instead of living my life in depressed loneliness in my hermit existence.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 22, 2007
  2. silent_enigma

    silent_enigma Well-Known Member

    At 6' 205 lbs doesn't sound too bad to me. 'Course, I'm 5'8" & 200lbs, so I'm biased!

    In the meantime I'd say look for some sort of apprenticeship program for some sort of trade that pays good -plumbing or whatever. Something where you wouldn't have to stick out a bunch of money on education since you obviously don't have cash to spare right now.

    As far as dealing with the womenfolk goes, a cousin of mine who is 39 (and isn't a Mr. Handsome) is just now planning to get married to a cutie. As far as I know this is the only serious relationship with a girl he's been in. I ended up marrying my first girlfriend at age 18. You just can't predict when you'll run across Mrs. Right. So don't take THAT too seriously. Especially now.

    Just a few thoughts for you to chew on. I'll check back on this thread in a few days if I can.

    Also- Who's to say we get another life? Nobody knows for sure.
     
  3. Doc

    Doc New Member

    I have been out of the hospital for two months now. I attempted to kill myself via the classic slitting of the wrists, but my father called the police. I only stayed in a general ICU for three days before being released, as there were no beds in any of the psych wards in the area.

    Now, I'm getting these feelings again, just as strongly as before. Every time I leave my house, I get ignored, even when I go out with people I know. I end up sitting alone, thinking about how much I would love to murder both them and myself. The only time I ever seem to be happy is when I'm playing computer games.

    I want people to like me, and I want to like people. It just seems like I'm not cut out for social situations, as if God simply doesn't want me in them. It's like I'm destined to stay alone in my home.
     
  4. Lead Savior

    Lead Savior Well-Known Member

    I have thought a lot about what I would want to be reincarnated as, and I have decided I would want to be a duck. Ducks are pretty awesome, as they can traverse land, sea, AND air. I would be pretty much invincible, as all water would run off of my back.
     
  5. Doc

    Doc New Member

    I think I should just go do it.
     
  6. 2trade

    2trade New Member

    Should you, should I ?

    Your talking and I'm listening and vice versa. Thats a social situation. Doesnt change anything.

    The point is the way we feel is a depression. A word that is overused.

    We are depressed and until we can correct the programming "so to speak", we will continue to feel depressed.

    It isnt going to change, it will take decades most likely.

    You need to put yourself first, thats the first step.
     
  7. silent_enigma

    silent_enigma Well-Known Member

    You're only 18, man, give it some time.

    I remember being the 3rd wheel most of the time. Altho, I didn't hardly ever go out with people.

    Anyways, why not just play more video/PC games? Maybe get into one that has a social aspect to it, like WOW or something. Never played an MMORPG myself, tho.
     
  8. Ninja

    Ninja Active Member

    Where ya from Doc?
     
  9. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    You may seem alone in the world but your not really. You have people here who understand what your going through. Don't give up. You can succeed.
     
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