Life Turned Upside Down for Me

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by ChrissRes, Jun 3, 2015.

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  1. ChrissRes

    ChrissRes New Member

    Hi my name is Chriss

    First little thing .. What plugin do I need to use chat .. Chrome it can't use the pluging. Im from Poland soo sorry for my bad english .

    Ok soo this is my first time i ever tried to get some help . I have very hard time talking about my problems in real life . That is my huge issue for me . Sadly my parents raised me that way . My mothers father was an alcoholic she had hard life soo she and my father never had any emotions or showed any too me. They never said WE LOVE YOU (But they didn't had problem saying that too their grand children) .. Also I was molested by family memmber and that is a secret till this day. Soo I was a kid with a lot of problems .

    When I grew up I tried fixing those problems by traveling and droping myself in hard situations and for most part it worked. I opened a company had many GF . I finally Felt like . I can do this .. Im the Swan that was ugly duck when i grew up. My old friends didn't recognize me .. Sounds great right ? .. Well here came problems . My mother asked me too take dept to help them out. Soo I did . Thing is that at the same time my company started to have finansial problems plus my mother blew the money. She had the idea the company will run well soo I will pay that debt. Problem is I can't . Also my parents lied about the money and my mother about her other debts ..

    Soo too sum it up. I can't Focus on my work. Every day banks call about money . I cant pay them . They want to take everything I Invested ... And I don't get any emotional support from my parents .. You can't talk too them like with grown people .. Every conversation is cut in the middle by .. "Well do it . (back turn) " " Try harder (back turn) " .. They are emotionaly immature like I was and still am in some ways. I told my older sister about that Im thinking about suicide and she is like "what ever" and cry's life sucks because she won't get the parents house when they die .. ( Funny fact is during that madness I stoped smoking cigaretes and I smoked for 11 years. I was looking for some extra energy to deal with problems )

    But Now I Fell like why bother . I calculated that to repay that debt it will take me about 10 years of hard work without nothing for me . That means living in a blank room on a rice bawl for 10 years .. Soo after 10 years I will start with Zero again .. And I will be 40 . Soo time when people have stable life i will be at point zero . I still respect my parents soo I noticed that i have huge insurance on those credtis .. If I killmyself my family will get about 60 k plus all debts will be repayed . Soo even my parents won't have to sell their house. I don't have emotional problem I have hard time too see other logical solution.

    Soo you see It's hard for me too find better options . Not to mention my GF .. she is 10 years younger . I know she wont leave me . But I don't want to hold her back.

    Anyone lost everything here ?
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Can you not claim bankruptcy and start over and walk away from your parents and make a new life for you gf and you ok
  3. AAA3330

    AAA3330 Well-Known Member

    Not quite in the same way that you have. I still have my home and income, but my mind changed that I can't hardly take care of it anymore. I was always really sharp and had it together, but all that's changed. I have a really hard time taking care of things and my mental condition has really turned my life upside down. It's completely ruined everything for me. I feel like a totally different person, so I've basically lost everything, but it's my mind that I've lost and not my material things.
  4. I've had many losses in my life, but none hurt more that losing people that I cared about. I understand that you feel like by killing yourself, you would be able to provide some financial stability, however, I bet those who love you would much rather have you around. Money is nice in that it can make certain aspects of life easier, but money never restores those who you love. When my father died, I would have given anything to have him back. When a close friend of mine killed himself (after 15+ years I still morn the loss of him) I wished that there was a way to undue what he did. To this day, I would give everything that I have to have one more day with them. You said that you know that your girlfriend would never leave you, so don't leave her either by committing suicide.
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