It really would be. No more pain. Either physical or psychological. No more money hassles. No more doctors. No more medical tests. (CAT scan coming on Wednesday). Still waiting to hear from gastroenterologist for appointment. No more meds. On effexor, ativan and starting hycosomine Saturday. No more work. No more problems with mail or car. NO MORE PROBLEMS WITH LIFE. So many things done during life that have me here. Mistakes made, not caring for self. Wrong decisions that can't me undone. I should be dead by now. I wish I were dead by now. Not shaping up to be a good day. Wish it were easy to kill oneself. Then I could be done with it and finished with things.