I spent the last day of this year waking up to the most god awful feeling in my soul, the one that keeps telling me to just give it up because no one on this earth really cares about how much pain I am in or if im alive. I spent the day fighting off this awful feeling. I tried to reach out to the few people I know and family members who know all that my husband is doing to me, wished them all a happy new year and sent them my love. Not one person responded, not even my own son. I think the thing that hurts the most is that I try so dam hard in so many ways to keep my spirits up and to find reasons to keep going but when others cant even acknowledge your existence when the know dam well you are living in hell it gives me no hope to keep trying. Why bother to suffer everyday in pain when no one else knows or cares you are alive.