Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by White Dove, Jul 7, 2007.

  1. White Dove

    White Dove Well-Known Member

    Why did my life have to be this way? Why did i have to be so stupid as to trust in someone.? . i thought a minister and his wife would be there when you needed them.. Isnt that what they are here for? to not only teach your word but to be here when you need them.. I needed them God .. I really needed them.. but they didnt care..

    Why do i let others hurt me? Why could they not see that i loved them.? Now that they are gone from my life it is like i have no one... not one person close to me... It really would have helped if i had received a call from Elaine , but that never will happen... I might as well forget them.. just pretend they are dead cause thats what they are to me.. they are dead .. they are gone... and i soon will be..

    i tried.. i have tried to forget but i cant.. each time dad has a birthday so does Elaine.. each time moms birthday rolls around so does davids...

    they left footprints upon my heart... footprints that even i cannot erase..

    i hurt them and i let me niece hurt them and i cant undo the damage that was done.. i cant change the past.. heck i cant even get them to forgive me so what point does it even make? I drive people away from me.. i drive them away all the dang time.. i am nothing but a piece of garbage that walks upon this stupid earth...

    I wanted to hug elaine and tell her i loved her and how sorry i am for hurting her.. i wanted to tell david i am deeply sorry for hurting him and for allowing my niece to hurt him... this i cannot do now and even if i was to go on.. chances are i would die before ever getting to tell them that.. I hope that someday they will know that i tried.. i hope they will know that i have shed many tears because of the hurt i caused. i hope that someday they will know that i did try to correct things but was not able to do.. I hope they will know that i never ever meant any harm to them or anyone else.

    well i am off to get drunk and wasted in a few and what ever happens next will happen and maybe it was meant to be...
  2. crazy

    crazy Well-Known Member

    Can you give a general way of how you hurt them? Ministers and their family are human too. They get hurt and need time to let the hurt and other emotions lessen just like every one else. Chances are they will forgive you for what ever it was that happened. One thing that helps me when I feel the need to tell something to someone is I write a letter to that person(s) saying exactly what i needed to with the words i needed to. I then do one of three things 1) tear it up 2) burn it 3) save it. I never give the letter to the pesron(s) it was meant for.