Hey Jesus, can you hear me? I know it’s been a long time But I'm tempted by suicide, and all the while trying to find Is there a reason for me living, or was I always ordained to fall? The bullshit causes temptation for me to end it all Before I heard deaths call, and this time I’m dying to answer Filled with unending loneliness that eats at my mind like cancer So Jesus I'm here, hoping that death will help me figure out My reason for suffering and what my life's truly about No doubt, I've gone through bullshit, tears filling my eyes But I'm still standing, many can’t dream of the crap I've survived Nine friends die, I've no appreciation of the sacristy of this life Self harm, though I bleed out, still battling the monster inside Job showed the essence of pain is taught through life's lessons If I look back from the outside, can I please see one of life's blessings? Filled with confusion and unanswered questions Paranoia and migraines, none of this is worth the effort Its an obsession, like I use pain to deal with depression I don’t build aggression but I keep shit bottled inside I tried running from life's problems, but from the pain I’ll die I've got veins filled with glass and a heart that's grown colder Problems with my ugly face, feels like 5 ton weights on these shoulders As I keep getting older, I find bullshit keeps escalating Battered and bruised from life, it feels like my spirit is escaping Hating, that slut for destroying the mind of my mother Knowing, my friends wished I’d died and they’d have another I was born weak and I became broken through life's struggles Battled suicide in vain, I’ve got problems in bundles Overcome with bullshit, its never been simply stated Wanna know me? "Fuck you", make note and get slated Phrases conjugated, while the bullshit gets escalated why should I be living if the life I live is fated?