There is no where I can go when I will be heard. Life is nothing to me, but pain, rejection and no future with change. I have been here before and came close to finishing it – but was stopped at the last minute and have probably done long-term damage to myself as a result. There is not enough room on this forum to list all the things which are pushing me this way. Needless to say – and with all honesty – there is absolutely no part or aspect of my life which is not one of misery and pain. I am rapidly reaching my limits. I have a plan – I bought a journal which I began to write for anyone who remotely cares exactly why I feel this way – I have spent years accumulating every prescription drug I can find – when I have finished and I have reached the limit of what I can tolerate – I will not make the same mistakes I did last time. I refuse to take this to a doctor. I have my reasons behind this. I have been there before and – as usual in my life – not a word of help was forthcoming. Uninterested. My life is nothing more than one bad situation leading to another. I am tired of this.