Life ...

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Jehuty, Jun 7, 2009.

  1. Jehuty

    Jehuty Senior Member

    I'm so lost, I dont know what to do.
    Tomorrow Im going to an army base where I get my test results and I probably will be able to join as a sharp shooter.
    But I don't know if this is what I really want.
    I know I want it but I keep thinking about what my parents will think of it.
    That it might will hurt then.

    People close to me always stop me from doing things I want and believe in.
    I had the chance to join Greenpeace and my parents didn't allow me because of the risks of danger and being arested.
    So they blackmailed by saying that if I join they kick me out of the house.

    Now I work in a store again, which is fun but it's not me.
    I want to make a difference to this world, even if its just saving one life of a animal.
    Its really killing me, making me so suicidal.
    I get the chance to become something I really want but the only people who I have left who support me basicly wont allow it or are against it.

    Honestly I dont know what to do but I dont want to remain who I am.
    Always dreaming about doing things but never do them for real.

    Like I said before, I have to chance to do it but the only people who are close to me make me not do it.

    What should I do?
    I dont want to lose them too, already Ive lost too much.
    Maybe I should just take the chance and see what happens and maybe end up on the streets?
    Greenpeace, groundforce or marine.
    Wonder how they will react, they called me an idiot when I sighed up for joining the army and got invited for the tests.

    Well I just post this now without reading it again before I chance my mind...
  2. waterfall

    waterfall Active Member

    In my opinion, its your life, and it is important that you pursuit ur dreams...
    Talk to your parents, tell them what you just told us, show them how much it means to you to help others, to face life and death so u are able to face your own life.... tell them how being "passive" makes you feel, unworthy of this life (im guessing)...
    But, keep in mind, that no matter what their arguments are, the main argument is that (even if they dont say it) they love you too much, they care about you alot, your their child and you mean the world to them, they dont wana loose you or see you getting hurt...
    If they still didnt agree, ask yourself again and again, if these options are what you REALLY want. If they are, then pursuit them. That's what i would have done. At the same time, try to even get closer to ur parents, show them everyday how much you love them and how responsible u will/can be.
    You'd be amazed how much little gestures can do.
    Parents will forgive because they LOVE... (dont abuse that fact though, it has limits since the brain takes over the heart in the end)
    good luck hun :hug:
  3. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    You have to do what's best for you :hug:. At a certain point you have to let go of what your parents might have wanted you to be. I'm not what my parents ideally wanted in a son, and I bet a lot of people here do not live up to what their parents wanted them to be. Most likely, many people's parents here didn't give a shit about them anyway. My parents pretend they do.

    That is terrible. I am sorry that your parents and people close to you are so unsupportive. Hopefully you can find some of that support here. You know whatever you decide to do and whatever you believe in you should stick to. At the end of the day you are the only one you have to answer to so do what you want :hug:

    Try not to worry, as hard it is, do what you feel called to do. Do not worry about what those close to you will say. Do you want them around anyway if they will not support who you are!? I know how hard that is though. I do so much because I want to keep people in my life even though I know that they're not good for me. Because I'm lonely. But I am going to do what I want regardless of judgement and at the end of the day if I have less people around me because of it, I can still rest easy because I stayed true to myself.

    I really hope you figure out what's best for you. Let us know how everything works out and we'll be behind you all the way buddy :console:

    big :hugtackles:
  4. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    hey Jehuty,
    Joining the military is a big step..Especially the Marine Corp.. They play some major games with your way of thinking.. First they break you down and then they build you into a Marine.. Bootcamp is a bitch.. You may want to stick with the Army..They are hard but nothing like the Marines.. The day you graduate will be the proudest day of your life and you won't soon forget it..
    If you join get all the guarantees you can in writing.. Like sign up bonus, Pfc out of boot camp, Mos school.. There is alot to think about..I graduated the Marines in '75... My parents weren't supportive in my joining but they surprised me and showed up for graduation..
    It is all up to you..My only thing I can suggest is keep your mouth shut and don't volunteer for anything..If you want more info PM me and I will try to answer your questions..Take care!!
  5. Jehuty

    Jehuty Senior Member

    Today I went to an army base for some sort of introduction.
    I was allowed to hold and even fire a Barrett M82 sniper rifle.
    For some reason I always dreamed of that.
    I don't know why but it made me so happy.
    Just the thought that maybe one day I will have one for myself made me really happy.
    I haven't stopped looking at the pic where I'm holding the rifle, dunno why, it just feels like it part of me.
    Maybe fate? Or maybe because I loved that rifle since I was little.

    But still I don't know, I just don't see myself as someone who will takes somebodys else their life, for whatever reason.
    I dont know what to do, I have like a half year the time to think about it.
    Guess I'll see how things go.
    But still, holding and even shooting that sniper rifle made me so proud and happy.
    Its really weird to think of it.

    I know it will really hurt my parents if I join, but I dont want to waste the rest of my life like now.
    There is more I want to talk about, about the army joining thing but I want to keep that privite, its personal.
    So feel free to PM if you're interested.

    So what should I do?
    I just dont know it anymore. :cry:
  6. Jehuty

    Jehuty Senior Member

    Still really thinking about joining the army.
    It will be the greatest challange I will ever face in my life.
    I would rather die there then to die later and regretting I never faced it.
    The only thing that stops my are my parents.
    I fear it will make then really depressed but still.
  7. WildCherry

    WildCherry ADMIN

    You have to do what really feels right for you. And sometimes you have to go for it, even if it's going to hurt the people around you. When it comes right down to it, you have to live your life for yourself, not for other people. You have to do what will make you happy.
  8. Jehuty

    Jehuty Senior Member

    I guess the army is all I can choose.
    Probably will sigh up for it, then there is no way out anymore.
    Even if I regret it, never thought that I would take a job where I have to take other people their lifes.