After a whole 2 day torment in the lock, I'm finally out, ain't I? Where am I actually? I guess I'm nowhere or leading to nowhere. Just wandering around this immense land carrying a whole lot of mess of my past over my back and blindfolded and out of my mind because it's already been seized by o'boypot and still asking for more, don't know how and where to get. There seems simply no reason to keep breathing and running away from my past and its repercussions and even more than that these screams of mine are mere futile but still spewing out words anyway (craving for attention? maybe) doesn't make sense. All I wanted was to get a guitar from somewhere and shout out all the mess in the face of songs I used to write but I didn't. I was probably destined to be doomed, I was gradually falling in the gutter whilst I was wondering at the stars above my head. And just like my life, my corpse wouldn't mean anything. There's simply no point in my existence, I'm just reduced to a heap of crap. All I see as my friends are the faces and works of Kurt Cobain, Sylvia Plath, Chris Cornell and Anne Sexton and don't know who else. They just give me a pump to keep going and that I'm fated to die alone someday and will meet them someday in gloom. There's often visualization of the angst and mania as if these are getting injected in my head by the stings of a giant scorpions and the snakes smeared in acids crawl through and burn all of my body and so forth. Always hearing voices calling me "Shame!" "Mess" and "Better off dead" etc none from a real throat however. I don't know what to say now but I just wanted to talk to someone to divert my mind from those scorpion and snakes. HELLo?