Three weeks into the Fall semester and I am feeling more suicidal than ever. I just don’t feel the way I used to. I don’t give a fuck about school anymore, I don’t see the point in even trying…and that goes for everything. Everything has been a failure, literally everything, and I don’t see any point in life anymore, in nothing, I just want to be dead, instead of living in solitude where nobody gives a fuck about you, where everyone despises, you, where nobody likes you, the anger, the resentment, the feeling of utter worthlessness. I am not scared anymore of what would happen if I killed myself, and I mean if there is an afterlife, I feel like killing myself is an ok thing to do. Things will only get worse not better. I failed in every way, I am not even human, I am beneath humanity. I don’t care about the things I used to like, such as reading, music, exercising, all of that is dead to me now. I am feeling depressed and dead without even being able to cry or to feel any emotion, thanks Lexapro. This has been going on for too long now. I am not worth it, I am not worth anything, everyone is better than me, everyone has more to offer than me, I feel like I am cursed, seriously, I am cursed. Everything that happens in my life is negative. I am tired. I give up on the world and on people, and on myself as ever trying to become a person, an inhabitant of this world.