I'm a 30 year waste of space, time, energy, and precious resources. I can't get a job. I can't get anyone to listen. I can't keep a friend. I can't even get a volunteer job. I can't connect with anyone or anything. I can't just relax and have fun. I can't sleep. I don't do anything normal people do. The way I see it is two choices: continue this way for another 40 years or end it now. I'm so incredibly useless. I'm not doing anyone any good. Even when I put in all my effort, I lose everything in the end. I don't want to do this anymore.