Life's a bitch...

[struggling]

Life really can be a bitch cant it? Noone can take away my pain. The crisis team i rang today cant help except to say hang in there, persevere, whatever. Im in overload. I cant do the things they want me to. I cant thnk straight, too much on my mind. They say that any more than 6 or 7 things fighting for a place in your head is enough to drive you nuts, well I have dozens. Crisis after crisis. Problem after problem it never stops. No respite for me. Im not allowed a break from this pressure. Well its all too much. I need peace, rest, an end to all this and if the only way is to kill myself then I have to. I cant take any more than this. My head cant take it. Im no good to anyone like this certainly not my family or friends. Im no good to me-I hate me for not being able to cope. Ive had enough,
Stuggling:sad:

 

[Esmeralda]

You have to be alive to feel relief. Killing yourself will not help.

 

[Stylez]

i find it so hard in my heart to read this from you...its like a snowballeffect:
"A powerful technigue for becoming more peaceful is to be aware of how quickly your negative and insecure thinking can spiral out of control. Have you ever noticed how uptight you feel when you're caught up in your thinking. One thought leads to another until some point, you become incredibly agitated.
The solution is to notice what's happening in your head before your thoughts have a chance to build any momentum. The sooner you catch yourself in the act of building your mental snoball, the easier it is to stop."

THat was from the book Dont sweat the small stuff. It basically says once you have those thoughts in your head end it by saying, whew there i go again and nip it in the bud. Hope that helps

 

[Esmeralda]

Good advice Alienation. It takes 21 days to break a habit, so when you find yourself falling into the same thought patterns that cause anxiety or depression, it is important to recognize it for what it is and try to think about or do something else. Soon it will become a habit and your outlook will change little by little.

 

[struggling]

Wow, how easy that all sounds. Believe me Ive been on'Mind over mood' courses. I know full well what I should be doing. If only it were that easy. In order to do anything about this I have to want to. I have to care just that little bit more about anything to want it to be better. Do I sound angry?? Sorry if I do, I was told today that when faced with an inevitable need to do something I dont want to do ie stop thinking negatively I respond with anger. I KNOW I need to stop these thoughts. I do. Just at the moment I CANT. ALL I can think of is the overwhelming urge to end it all, now. I have so so much in my head to deal with I dont know how to start or how to relax. I need to get it all out before I can stop thinking about it but have noone to listen. My husband tells me to 'stop worrying' and 'let it go over your head' but I cant do that. I just want it to stop. Thank you for your concerns I do appreciate your help, Im just not sure its as simple and straightforward as that when there are so many feelings and emotions floating about.
Still feeling desperately low,:sad:
struggling