I want to share my story here. I truly believe that some people get to be born in wrong lifetime. I am 100% certain that I am one of those. Life's a burden... Since I was a child, or more and less after I turned 10, I've begun to have that ''I dont belong to be here'' feeling. Feeling strange and foreign anywhere everywhere. when u r under the wings of ur parents u dont really know what's this feeling is about, u most of the time feel safe around them. but when I was getting older, started to be living on my own, since my 17th. It's become more and more clear to me how unwilling I feel towards life. That feeling of heaviness stayed in my constantly, I;ve become more and more voulnerable to outside attacks. Cant be around many people, although many consider me as a very social person. But I just cant stand to be in a crowd. With the time i've got the though of suicide. it's stayed with me. I''ve tried to get help at several different shrinks, tried to read spiritual enlightning books, have great interests, travel. Nothing could defeat thos feeling of heaviness, burden, suicide. I am 29 now, I must that last couple years I was reading alot about life&death, afterlife in order to get rid off the fear of death and what comes afterwards. It helped me. It even started to excite me that unknown. I am not religious man, so I cant stand when people begin tell that I will burn in hell etc horseshit which wasnt even proven ever! or when people try to put that blame guilt trip on u by saying it will be very egoistic for me towards close people in my life to end my life. which is of course egoistic they can call themselves by thinking that way. I am not asking here for any help, may be support. I see no single point anymore for continuing living while life is a huge heavy burden for u even when u suppose to feel joy, happiness, goodness. I also dont understand why so many people r trying to hold on to life even in worse scenarios. BUt cant judge anyone. Never judged myself either, just have no single will for life anymore left.