Life's hard:(

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by andersio, Oct 13, 2010.

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  1. andersio

    andersio New Member

    Im from, Norway, and my english is not so god, but i will try.

    Hi, im 16 year old boy from Norway. In the past 2-3 years my life has going up and down, for the most it has been god, som times littlebit hard and the past year it has been terrible. Im not going to tell you all the things that have happend inn my life because that would been a long post.

    I have been depressed inn a year now, and it fucked up ny stomach. Today i can't be soscial because i will feel scared and my stomach fuckes up. In August i startet Highschool, my stomach had been problemfree the whole summer, but when school started again the stomach started to destroy my life again. I was so sad. I had hope that a new school could be a new shance for me, i could be anybody if i wanted to. One day, i stood up inn the morning, my stomach was more bad than it used to be. I Told my mom that i wanted to stay home, she got littebit uppsett. And i understand that, in last part of 10th grade, was the time i started to get stomach problems, i was much away from school. But inn the summer i was just fine. I understand she was uppset when it started again now. My Mom went to the gym and i was home alone. I was tired, tired of my life I wanted to end it. I was so naiv that i thought a bottle of wine could kill me. I drank the whole bottle, then i just remmeber wakeing up when my mom comed home, i was drunk. Not Dead, drunk. Its about 2-3 months ago now, and i haven't been on school after that.

    Now im going to a terapist once a week, its not helping at all. I really want to die, im not afraid to die, im afraid of surviving again. If im going to take my life again, i will try XXX. XXX Or will i just sleep inn? What if i survive, will i get some dammage that i will have to live with rest of my life?

    Today, i have thought about how i want to do it.

    The day before D day, i will take a last ride with my Light Motorsycle. Problaby to Sweden. See the nature and buy the food and candy that i love. Then drive home again, but stop at my brother and he's familys place. Say hi to them and chat a little. Go home, write a letter to my family while i eat some good food and play some Call of Duty. When my mom and stephfather has fall asleep. I take XXXXX with my, go out to the forest. Lay down, XXXXand listning to my favorite music on my Ipod. It would be nice to listen to Nothing Else Matters by Metallica, when i start to see the light and fall asleep forever.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 13, 2010
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Hi and so sorry you are feeling this way...many people have stomach issues when feeling anxious..have you spoken to your doctor so s/he can give you something to relieve this pain? there are very effective medications for this...also, you say your therapy is not working...have you spoken to your therapist about this? please do so and let us know how you are doing...welcome and big hugs, J
     
  3. andersio

    andersio New Member

    Yes, have talked with my doctor many times, nothing wrong with my, its the psycic. Was on Gastroskopi last week and are wating for the test results.
     
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