Life's Irony

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Kiba, Apr 2, 2011.

  1. Kiba

    Kiba Well-Known Member

    Ironically.. my life is ironic.. It would be ironic if.. I died this year considering I was born 1991 and I'm 19 (almost 20) and I have STD results ON my birthday and I may have some issues with my apartment complex if I can't get papers from my payee or the social security in time.. and I'm not suicidal considering all my shit for once.. So that would be ironic..

    Ironically after my aunts death my rabbit died week later.. her name.. Tia.. in Spanish.. Aunt.. my aunt was from Argentina, where Spanish is main language..

    Ironically my bro died day b4 his 13th birthday..

    ironically my parents only ones there when he died and cant give me strait answer.. What really happened..

    Ironically they didn't know how to take care of him as an adult

    Ironically they found notes from him on his typer after his death

    ironically I was given up at age 16 to foster care for being so suicidal and now my parents want me back now that I'm "better"
    *
    Ironically my mom is in charge of my funds and ironically I think I finally figured out just how bad my parents are..

    Because ironically I calculated how much I SHOULD have left over and I'm not receiving some $50 a month that is MY money..

    Ironically I went to go to skate park today and started raining when I got to bus stop and now its sunny again..

    Ironically my life is SO ironic, no one believes me!

    I'm so tired of my entire life of IRONY!!
     
  2. Kiba

    Kiba Well-Known Member

    So I want to be a dick right now.. I want to just hurt something.. I decided to leave chat, because I know I'm just going to get myself into trouble.. I don't REALLY want to hurt someone.. I just am so fed up with things..

    But I can't just be a dick.. Because I care too damn much about people.. least I can't be too bad a one..

    So fuck my life to hell.. I just have to smile and pretend all is well.. And I feel so betrayed by the entire damn world! :)

    Thank you WORLD!!! :stars:

    You have helped me so much!!

    FUCK YOU!
     
  3. Kiba

    Kiba Well-Known Member

    Thank you so much u piece of shit life!!

    Thank you parents for being there for ME!!

    Thanks for the damn lies you tell me..

    Thank you ALL in foster care for the NICE times I've had!!

    Thank you for giving up on me parents!!

    Thank you for using me for sex you fucking DICK!

    Thanks for telling me LIES my whole life!!

    Thank for being there for me when I'm alone!

    Thanks for ALL the SHIT and LIES I've had in my ENTIRE DAMN LIFE!!

    Oh really.. I want to thank you ALL for my life!! THANK YOU FUCKING EARTH FOR MY LIFE!! OH THANK YOU GOD FOR MY FUCKING LIFE!!

    Thank you ALL for Beating me UP!

    Thank you for ISOLATING ME!!

    Thank you for IGNORING ME!!

    Thank you for NOT BELIEVING ME!!

    Thank you for BEING THERE FOR ME!!

    THANK YOU! :stars:

    FUCK YOU SHIT!!! FUCK YOU TO HELL!! :furious:
     
  4. Kiba

    Kiba Well-Known Member

    I'm getting sick of it.. Just SICK of it!!

    I'm a useless piece of shit that is here to be lied to, used, and fucked!! WHY?? And then no one can believe it.. no one can do SHIT.. And I'm finally able to stay alive and not attempt no more.. I actually WANT to live now, but now all this fucking SHIT decides to come along.. And only NOW am I even realizing HOW BAD my entire life really IS, WAS.. GOD.. Someone please let me have ONE FUCKING DAY!! JUST ONE!!! Where I can get a BREAK!!!

    Just let me get a GOD DAMN BREAK!!!

    FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE I WANT A DAY WHERE I CAN JUST NOT WORRY!!

    FOR ONCE!!!

    This world is so EVIL.. So much CORRUPTION!! SO MUCH HATE!!! No Compassion.. Hardly... And the only place I find ANYONE who really even GIVES A FUCK.. Is here.. And that is why I'm here.. because HERE.. on SF.. Is the ONLY PLACE anyone really cares.. ANYONE really can begin to understand..

    I feel like everyone challenges me on every turn.. My life has had so much in it and it becomes less and less believable.. Even the social worker at the hospital don't believe I even have PTSD.. when I'm diagnosed with it.. WHAT IS THE WORLD COMING TO?? No one can trust ANYONE ELSE..

    Why is the world this way?! WHY?!

    Why can't it just WORK!?

    I'm sick of the SHIT.. I'm sick of this world.. All the hate, discrimination, just SHIT.. Just to ANYONE... EVERYONE.. We are all bad to each other.. Why can't we just all be good to one another?? WHY?
     
  5. Kiba

    Kiba Well-Known Member

    I think I need to start my entire life over.. Just.. from scratch.. No parents.. no family.. just NOTHING.. maybe just my therapist and SF.. I'm going to have to at some point anyway.. Most likely.. I think I just need to leave the country.. It's getting bad here.. Once I get my disability to me.. Once I can save.. I'm going to leave.. There's nothing left here for me.. nothing but pain.. I've lived in this god damn state since I was a year old.. I need out.. And I kinda don't even care if I go homeless for a while.. I can't stand this place much longer.. If I have to I'll live alone in the woods.. What else can I do..?
     
  6. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    i'm sorry you are having such a rotten day. sending a safe, supportive hug if okay...

    it will get better soon, i promise. call your payee and get the copy of your disability check. should be very easy, it will be okay at your apartment.

    any way you can not have a payee going forward? who determines that? you sound old enough and responsible enough to handle your own finances. i believe in you.