I used to think that in our lives we were meant here for a purpose. Whether it was to help someone out in their time of need or that to be here for some other reason. I had always felt that need was to take care of my mother in her illness and my niece growing up. Now it seems that my life is just a useless space or void in this world. My niece is all grown up now my life seems to have lost meaning and purpose and became more of a burden to family members. As i sit here writing this now being homeless and writing this in a bathroom so i have somewhere to sleep i wonder if it is truly time for me to go in life and end this misery that is called life. I pray at times that i would get in a car accident so as i could leave this world and i know that suicide is not the answer because i also believe in religion and feel that my soul would be wandering in a empty void for all eternity. Strange i know but i just want to have a normal life and be happy on occasion. It isnt that hard of a request to ask. Well thats it for now. The tylenol pm is kicking in so its time for me to get some shut eye. Ill post back sometime tommorow when i can.
Lifes meaning
- Thread starter redman76
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I am so sorry to hear you are so alone. Is your mother no longer here then. Can you not reach out to the community you live in a homeless shelter that will get you back on your feet again. Reach out to the church for some help they may knowo f some housing you can use. Last resort go to emergency and tell them you are sucidal and at least yu will get some mental health and a bed to sleep in. You have just lost your way a bit with help you can get back on track okay. Call the shelters go to emergency and tell them youare going to kill yourself get admitted to hospital and then get some help for you hugs
It sounds as if you reached rock bottom..Theres no way else than up.. Are you living in a shelter?? Maybe do some volunteer work.. It will look good on your resume when you apply for a job.. Something to think about is the unemployment office.. Truck drivers come in there looking for someone to unload there trucks..They pay cash when your done..At least it will give you some spending money and who knows maybe the company receiving the goods will see your a hard worker and hire you..
I empathise with your predicament, I've been homeless to a degree and slept outdoors or crashed on floors. That part of my life is sorted now and all you need is a roof over your head - a room of your own for now. Alas, being a UK'er I'm not able to advise there in were to go but someone will suggest something.
As for caring for others, maybe you can get a basic qualification and do some care work. It's hard work for sure but rewarding. Not sure what happened to your mother, but if she has passed away then my sincere commiserations. You helped though and that is all we can do - a duty that you've done.
Not having a home and job is rock bottom, and as others have said you can only hit so low before you have to move up the steps of the ladder bit by bit. Your by no means through with things - there is help and maybe you ought to look into claiming benefits to get some accommodation.
As for your niece, she might be a young woman now and doing her own thing - but she will always be fond of you and remember the help you gave. I have done similar having no children, and its sad when they grow up but still good to see them grow into decent adults.
Maybe when you get yourself sorted out you might meet a nice lady and start your own family. Stranger things have happened!
Its no good when we find that life loses meaning - but being religious you might, like me, see this all as a kind of battle between good and evil. Maybe some of the local churches might be able to help hook you up with some programme or other that rehouses homeless and finds work.
As for being a burden on family - I'm sure that's just depression making you think that. Maybe you've had other issues also - drink or drugs usually can be found when people are homeless. That was my take on things. Luckily I was not into class A drugs at least.
Do seek help - after all if you were in a position to help, I'm sure you would. Don't let pride get in the way. You deserve a break and there will be people whose lives are in good enough order to be able to help those whose lives are not.
My prayers also.
As for caring for others, maybe you can get a basic qualification and do some care work. It's hard work for sure but rewarding. Not sure what happened to your mother, but if she has passed away then my sincere commiserations. You helped though and that is all we can do - a duty that you've done.
Not having a home and job is rock bottom, and as others have said you can only hit so low before you have to move up the steps of the ladder bit by bit. Your by no means through with things - there is help and maybe you ought to look into claiming benefits to get some accommodation.
As for your niece, she might be a young woman now and doing her own thing - but she will always be fond of you and remember the help you gave. I have done similar having no children, and its sad when they grow up but still good to see them grow into decent adults.
Maybe when you get yourself sorted out you might meet a nice lady and start your own family. Stranger things have happened!
Its no good when we find that life loses meaning - but being religious you might, like me, see this all as a kind of battle between good and evil. Maybe some of the local churches might be able to help hook you up with some programme or other that rehouses homeless and finds work.
As for being a burden on family - I'm sure that's just depression making you think that. Maybe you've had other issues also - drink or drugs usually can be found when people are homeless. That was my take on things. Luckily I was not into class A drugs at least.
Do seek help - after all if you were in a position to help, I'm sure you would. Don't let pride get in the way. You deserve a break and there will be people whose lives are in good enough order to be able to help those whose lives are not.
My prayers also.
Well to answer a few questions. My mom has passed away nearly 6 years ago so i have came to terms as best as i can with the situation. I am working but at the same time i owe my boss money so im basically not getting a paycheck. Only enough to survive day to day. Right now im just trying to survive day to day. As far as shelters go because i have a job i cant goto one because i dont qualify to get into one right now because i do have a job. And checking myself into a hospital wont work because i will end up losing my job because i cant tell them i am suicidal and it get back to my job. Mainly i see it playing out as im a liability to them and dont want to risk them having me here. Plus the fact that im sleeping in the bathroom at my job so it kills it in 2 things there. Its just that it would help if there was someone i could actually talk to about things and not have that person be involved in my everyday life. There are times like i feel as if im going to just have a nervous breakdown in the middle of work between the stress of everything and dealing with my job (im a cook so if anyone here is a cook you know how stressful it can be). Idk i guess i can only do what i am able to do in life.
Hi and I am so sorry things are so rough right now...wish you lived closer as I could sure use a cook...is there any way you can do private parties or such or cater for some business, etc? That way you can get extra money...just a thought and hope things improve quickly...please keep posting and letting us know how you are...J
I have a lot of experience with religion. Ideally, I'd call myself a Christian, but I think some of my views may be more in line with just spirituality rather than traditional Christianity. Anyway, I think we are always searching for meaning in our lives. It's never finished. It's never done. We can never definitively say, "This is who I am." A lot of meaning in life comes from what we choose to make of it. I'm really sorry that life has gotten so difficult for you. But I think if you want to find "meaning" in life it can be in the simplest, little things. I think just reaching out to people and knowing that they appreciate you in their lives gives meaning and definition to existence. Take a look at Ecclesiastes. It basically says there is no meaning to life and that the best we can do is try to enjoy ourselves on earth. It doesn't mean we should lead hedonistic lives of excess, but appreciate the fact that we are alive and that we can help others. I think no matter what position you're born into in life, it is going to be hard. It honestly wouldn't surprise me if most of the population has thought about suicide at one point or another, even in a fleeting glimpse. It's taboo to talk about which is why we don't, but I'd say most people have had moments where they just say, "I'm sick of doing this." Sometimes being alive can take a lot of strength, beyond even our own capabilities. But it's always an effort that's worthwhile.
Ill just ups the food to you...lol...but seriously i think most things that have gotten me to this point is the fact that i have nowhere i can just go and take time to myself. Before i may not have been happy but i also had a place to think or to relax and take a break in life. I think i need a vacation...lol...who up for a cruise your treat:tongue: but anyhow i would love to be able to open up to someone but i cant do that because it would cause so much more trouble than i already have. As far as something like private parties go i honestly just have 0 time to even do anything like that because im at work most of the time. At this point im so tempted to just walk out and leave my job because its just getting to crazy with the fighting and yelling. Anyways back to work full of fun and excitement.
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