Life's so frustrating lately (no life besides studying)

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by sa-chan, Jun 20, 2016.

  1. sa-chan

    sa-chan Active Member

    I'm studying for a bunch of difficult exams I will have in a couple months. This is all I do, I don't even really leave the home anymore. The bad part: I suck at studying. It's probably my depression's doing that I can't focus on things long enough. After a few hours of studying I'll inevitably hit a wall and my brain is just like *puff*. The worst part: I don't even find a proper activity to engage in after that.

    I don't like being around people (it's not just social phobia I really am bored by people by now) - and I've ended up losing the few friends I had during high school (mostly my doing I guess). I don't like going to the same boring places here that I've been to a hundred times already. I don't go shopping because I have everything I need already (or the few things missing I order online). I don't like sports because it makes me feel really bad. I don't like going for walks because there are so many dog owners and children around and I'd rather just ignore everyone. I've really given up on the outside world to be honest, I only go out for lectures during the semester.

    I used to like programming things on the computer, but given what I'm currently studying I don't want to be reminded constantly how much my brain power sucks lately. I also used to like writing but I really can't get anything meaningful together lately. I tried various kinds of art but I really suck at it (and I end up losing interest in these things quick too).

    One of the things I really wanted to do for a long time is to travel to some interesting places. But I don't have neither money nor time for this. And also my anxiety is particularly bad about traveling lately.

    I honestly don't know what I'm doing anymore, like I can keep myself busy for a couple hours a day by listening to music and watching shows but that's all I'm ever doing (besides my crappy studying). It's so fucking frustrating. I only could imagine doing things for which I don't have the means right now.
  2. SillyOldBear

    SillyOldBear Teddy Bear Fanatic Staff Member Safety & Support

    I totally get it. Studying is not only difficult, buts really boring at times. What exams are you studying for? Are you taking enough breaks? It is important to step away from things for a while and clear your mind. Otherwise everything gets so foggy that you won't remember anything you study. Hopefully all this studying will lead to employment and the income that will allow you to do the things you really want to do.
    Jenumbra likes this.
  3. Jenumbra

    Jenumbra SF Supporter

    Studying for a few hours is a lot, sounds like your are getting burned out. Do you like your major? Keeping the end goal in mind will help you endure the hard work. I agree with Sillyoldbear, taking breaks is important, it'll refresh you and supposedly helps you assimilate the material. Here's an article on a specific technique, but do what works for you.
  4. sa-chan

    sa-chan Active Member

    Thanks for your replies.

    I have multiple exams but I'm mostly focusing on physics, calculus and algorithms right now because these are my hardest subjects. I do indeed take breaks, but I don't really know what to do in my breaks when not studying (I usually end up browsing the internet and get upset about things I cannot currently change anyways) and I feel like I'm not studying enough.
    Maybe I wasn't clear about how much I study but "a few hours a day" = ~3.5h average and this really is not enough... I know students who easily get to 6-7h a day.
    I guess I might need more quality breaks instead of wasted "procrastination time" but I'm lacking ideas lately.

    I hope that in the future I will have enough money for traveling, but I'm certain that then my issue will be not having the time to go on vacation... But it's hopefully going to be still better than it is now.