Lightning Did not Strike

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Forgotten_Man, Jun 6, 2010.

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  1. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    I am kind of tired... and most of my threads have been going unanswered, probably for good reason, but here I will still post.

    I went for a walk today when it would have been ill-advised. You see there were very bright close by lightning strikes going on. So I figured, hey maybe I will get hit. During this walk I felt kind of down. I thought about all the toxic things I am doing to myself. I keep a toxic relationship near by me. I keep another semi-toxic relationship near by me. Then I fantasize about how working out will make everything better.

    Yet here I am, I walk around wanting to get hit by lightning. I wonder why do I keep these toxic things so close by me? I think it is because I want them to posion me to death. Well posion me to kill myself. Right now I feel like I could do it... then again that is probably the exhaustion. Lets see if I feel this way in the morning.
  2. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    are you getting some help FM?....
    sounds like you really need some...:hiya:
    please look after yourself.....
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 6, 2010
  3. PollyAnna

    PollyAnna Account Closed

    Oh, sweetheart
    you broke my heart with this thread. how could u say that? you don't deserve to be hit by lightening!you don't deserve to die at all :{ I'm soo glad you're safe and okay, though. Sweetness, you know that some things you're experiencing don't have to be joined to your depression.
    I hope you're okay In the morning!♥♥♥
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 6, 2010
  4. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey FM,
    Your not invisible.. I don't know why your threads go unanswered..I read all your posts..You are a very kind hearted individual and offer great advice..Please stay with us.. Don't listen to those negative thoughts..We are here for you...
  5. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    @IV2010: No... I don't know how to go about getting help. Aside from maybe calling a suicide hotline... which I do not want to do because I am too weak to kill myself right now. Which is why I wish for the lightning.

    @Stranger1: I think it is because I do not really post threads. I more use this forum as a blog for my negative thoughts. I don't know, maybe I have posted enough threads... maybe I am being forgotten. I don' t know... I have noticed activity has been kind of lacking these past few days. I am just tired.

    @Mari: Sorry to break your heart... that seems to be all I do to people.
  6. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    your doctor is a good place to start to get help...he can advice you....:hug:
  7. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    @IV2010: That is the other problem... I don't have a doctor. I am cursed with surprisingly good health. So I never feel the need to have a GP. Whenver I do get sick it is painful and violent and quick.
  8. 41021

    41021 Banned Member

    :hug: for you

    not in a good space at the moment to offer much more but do know i am thinking about you and i do want you to be okay.
  9. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    is there a clinic near you? maybe check the phone book....
    or ask someone at work for recommendations for a GP...
    do Y or Z have a doctor you could go see?..
    please get help....I don't want you to die....:hugtackles:
  10. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    @Kali: :sad: I am sorry you are not in a good place either. Hopefully one of us will pull out of it soon :hug: thanks.

    @IV2010: Yeah there is a "Healthcare plaza" near by my apartment that I was going to check out. I don't know, most of the time I feel like I should die... I have too much going for me to feel this way...
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