Ok. so I just had an entired weekend away from the kids the husband for the first time in over 5 years. I had all the these plans on what i was going to do with my few days of peace. Turns out I completed wasted them by taling Stilnox CR and I pretty much slept away the weekend. which wouldn't be so bad, but even now i can still feel the effects of the pills - like i'm drunk. Anyway, once finally meeting back up with the kids and the hub, the renunion was not what i expected -dd1 said "oh hi mum!" dd1 ususally rushes at me, yelling "mummy" at the top of her lungs and dd2 gave me a bit of a grin, when normally he can't wait to get to into my arms. Both kids are dressed and ready to go to the luncheon we were going to. both kids were happy and were apparently both kids had a good time. Hub did a great job with them this weekend - his first weekend with the kids without me - mind you he did have his parents to help. So that's just cemented me in me - they will all be ok. happy once I'm not here. so I've started a list of the things I need to do, to make it easier for the hub for when the time comes. Some of the things on the list are simple things : finsih, wrap, name xmas shopping clean dd1 room swap ds room around buy products for end of days etc write goodbye notes to various people. see various people for last time. pay outstanding bills so what i want to know is this. do you make lists? and as you cross off each list, does it make you feel better? or do your lists just tend to get longer?