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little family food chain gone wayyy outta control

Discussion in 'Bullying and Violence' started by carol2237, Feb 13, 2008.

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  1. carol2237

    carol2237 Guest

    okay. So, I am the second of 6 kids in my family, and over the years, i have come to realize that there is a little bit of a food chain thing going on through the siblings.

    So the kids in the family are Sam (19), Me ( 17), Ben ( 15), Greg (12ish?), Emily (6) and Amber (4 months).

    When we were younger, i was always the shy kid of the family, always the peacemaker, never the fighter. So i noticed that Sam would always pick on Ben, they would get into fights a lot. Now that Sam is in college, they have become really close and never fight anymore. Instead, Ben takes his anger and frustration out on Greg. Ben is a very violent kid, he has threatened with knives, and has broken several of Greg's bones during his fits of rage. Waking him up is a nightmare and almost always leads to bruises of some sort, if you are lucky a black eye. My parents have tried everything to stop him, but dont know where to turn any more, they are thinking boot camp.

    On the other hand, Greg has now started following in Ben's tracks and beats on Emily, even though she is a.) a girl and b.) 6 years younger than him... I often have to separate them before things get out of hand...

    Best yet though is Emily taking her anger out on Amber... We have tried to teach her that Amber is just a little baby and that she could really do some damage... i hope this just doesn't pass on to Amber.... I guess there is going to have to be an end to this madness at some point. I know i will not stand for it for very much longer, especially with my own little one coming soon... and my going off to college soon, leaving Ben in charge. It is funny how well all of us get along with each other... well that is except the sibling older and younger than you...

    Sorry once again about the long ranting-ness of my posts...

    ~If your going through hell, keep on going~
  2. kimailis

    kimailis Active Member

    once i had an older cousin that was picking on me, so i did something that made it look like i tried to kill him "by accident" so he got freaked and stayed away from me for a while because of my "psychological tricks" to manipulate him, drawing all of the good attention of the family while he gets the bad attention.
  3. Rose24

    Rose24 Chat & Forum Buddy

    Emily is probably learning violent behavior from Ben and Greg, keep her from seeing violent behavior and put a lot of emphasis on positive behavior towards Amber, this way she will learn positive behavior, Greg may be a little too old for this to work, I'd suggest positive behavior towards Greg to help him learn to be affectionate along side with positive reinforcements: focusing on good things that he does, this may help to ease his anger, after the abuse from his brother, positive rainforest is vital to make Greg feel worthwhile again.

    Ben on the other hand may need some more serious help, I personally wouldn't recommend boot camp because it would make Ben feel even more alienated than he already does. Again, positive reinforcement is vital, shower him with affection and praise without being patronizing, which will be difficult with his age. i would recommend some sort of anger management therapy along side with cognitive behavioral therapy, though getting him to participate may be difficult, especially without the positive reinforcement at home. Springing up the idea of him getting help without gaining his trust first would probably also make him feel alienated as possibly induce a rage fit.

    Take care dear and stay strong

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