I didnt want to post this in the suicide forum..because im not immediately suicidal, and it isnt fair or correct to do so... Im just wondering if you have the feeling your just living because the planning of your death seems like too much? How lame is that, yes I know it is, but your just going through the motions of living, because too trully carry out your death properly involves quite a lot of planning, letter writing and so on. I guess this means your not fully intent on doing it at this stage, so thats the positive, but it still means your left with the suicidal thoughts which you may eventually get the balls to carry out, and the motivation, so thats the negative. Ok, it seems stupid! but isnt that the defination of depression....you loose all motivation to do anything...and I mean anything. Your just breathing. Shout me down if you like, but im sure other people have felt this.