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Living by default.

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Staff Alumni
I didnt want to post this in the suicide forum..because im not immediately suicidal, and it isnt fair or correct to do so...

Im just wondering if you have the feeling your just living because the planning of your death seems like too much? How lame is that, yes I know it is, but your just going through the motions of living, because too trully carry out your death properly involves quite a lot of planning, letter writing and so on.

I guess this means your not fully intent on doing it at this stage, so thats the positive, but it still means your left with the suicidal thoughts which you may eventually get the balls to carry out, and the motivation, so thats the negative.

Ok, it seems stupid! but isnt that the defination of depression....you loose all motivation to do anything...and I mean anything. Your just breathing.

Shout me down if you like, but im sure other people have felt this.
Just wanted to send you some hugs hun :hug:

Thank you for the little talk last night, well this mornign actually. Was nice and so was skype :smile: and sorry for the worry i caused you.

*big hugs*


Antiquities Friend
Staff Alumni
That's exactly the definition of depression Matt, no fucking motivation whatsoever. The wonderful world of being stuck, drifting thru the days.
Don't know if you get the terror of moving with it (I actually can't physically move from the bed or couch when that hits) and then of course there are the wonderful crying jags that leave you feeling exhausted and ill.:sad:

I just keep on plodding thru it, some days are better than others and some days are like being in some kind of weird dimension where nothing makes sense.

Sorry this isn't exactly uplifting is it. I'm having a stuck moment and shouldnt have answered. Sorry:sad: :sad:
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