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Living for other people

#1
Hi again,

I’ve found a lot of support on this site on my previous thread which was maybe a little bit of a vent without really being a coherent post, so I thought I would open up a bit more

I just wanted to talk about the impact suicide has on those around you. I keep on having urges to end it but ultimately what holds me back is how my death would hurt my family and friends. I’m finding it incredibly hard to keep on going and really I do just wanna kill myself, but I love my parents and close friends too much to do that to them. Like I know it would utterly devastate my parents for example

This constant tension between living for them, and wanting to die for me, just makes me wanna scream. Because of this often I end up Self harming which isn’t something I wanna keep on doing but it just helps me deal with the stress

How am I meant to cope and find a way to keep living? How can I make a life when I feel this crap and just wanna die ? Is it possible to find a way to function when you sometimes can’t even get out of bed?

Killing myself feels selfish in this context which just makes me angrier at myself for feeing how I do, which sits badly on how much I already hate myself
 
#2
Is it possible to find a way to function when you sometimes can’t even get out of bed?
Yes. I've been there before, and I can tell you the things I did that made my life better. I don't want to offer advice though unless I know you explicitly want advice.
How am I meant to cope and find a way to keep living? How can I make a life when I feel this crap and just wanna die ?
The path to making things better is finding the right treatment methods
 

Bergerac

Lost are only those who abandon themselves
#5
I'm so sorry you feel "trapped" in this position. Living for other people can only take you so far in terms of happiness and fulfillment. There must be a great sense of frustration within you and a strong desire to develop your own life's purpose and succeed in a way that is satisfying to yourself. Of course, to do this, you need help emotionally and physically, to have the energy to progress to liking yourself again and ultimately, discovering yourself and what your life path can be/is.

With the proper treatment, which I think @may71 will suggest, there's no reason you cannot be pulled from these depths and change your life around. That way, you can start living for yourself and genuinely enjoying your own life, in addition to staying around for others. There is a lot of satisfaction that arises from the service to others, but hopefully you'll eventually be able to do it within the framework of a vocation (and life) you take something from, too.
 
#6
Haha thank you for another quick reply May, any and all advice / thoughts are welcome, so please do give them
When you have very little energy, the way to get more energy, imho, is to stop doing things that drain your energy, and to focus using what energy you've got on doing things that produce more energy.

Too much thinking and excessive emotions use up a lot of energy, so keeping the mind as calm as possible is important. That can be hard to do, but just knowing that you should be doing it is a step in the right direction.

Dietary changes made a huge difference for me. The changes I'd recommend are:

Not consuming anything raw or served cold (including water)

Eating only freshly cooked foods

Giving up sugar and sweets

Giving up alcohol (I know that's a tough one, but something to work toward)

If you feel like you're at risk for a suicide attempt in the near future, I'd recommend getting some medication. Anti-depressants like fluoxetine and wellbutrin are usually the ones recommended if you have low energy.

If you are not at risk for an attempt, I'd recommend trying acupuncture and Chinese herbal medicine first. I'll put some general information about these treatments at the end of this post, but there's also some information in my signature links. Here's a copy of the links in case you're on a phone.

Treating Depression, Anxiety, Insomnia and General Help
Acupressure Self-Massage for Depression, Insomnia, and Anxiety



-------------------------
Chinese Medicine and Acupuncture is the world’s second largest medical system, serving more than 1.5 billion people worldwide. It is fully incorporated into the public health systems of China and Japan
https://www.uwc.ac.za/Faculties/CHS/SoNM/Pages/Chinese-Medicine-and-Acupuncture.aspx
The World Health Organization (WHO) has endorsed Traditional Chinese Medicine. The 11th revision of the WHO's International Statistical Classification of Diseases and Related Health Problems (ICD) will include Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) for the first time. The ICD-11 will come into effect on January 1, 2022.
https://www.integrativepractitioner...est-icd-includes-traditional-chinese-medicine

The WHO published an official report in 2003 listing 31 symptoms, conditions and diseases that have been shown in controlled trials to be treated effectively by acupuncture.
https://reliefacupuncturepa.com/world-health-organization-approved-list/

The US Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services announced in January 2020 that acupuncture would be covered nationally by Medicare for the treatment of chronic low back pain.
https://www.cms.gov/newsroom/press-...-chronic-low-back-pain-medicare-beneficiaries

A study published in the British Medical Journal found no serious adverse events occured as a result of treatment with acupuncture within the study's sample. It estimated serious adverse events to occur less than once for every 10,000 treatments, making it much safer than many conventional medical treatments.
https://www.bmj.com/content/323/7311/486
 

Bergerac

Lost are only those who abandon themselves
#7
When you have very little energy, the way to get more energy, imho, is to stop doing things that drain your energy, and to focus using what energy you've got on doing things that produce more energy.

Too much thinking and excessive emotions use up a lot of energy, so keeping the mind as calm as possible is important. That can be hard to do, but just knowing that you should be doing it is a step in the right direction.

Dietary changes made a huge difference for me. The changes I'd recommend are:

Not consuming anything raw or served cold (including water)

Eating only freshly cooked foods

Giving up sugar and sweets

Giving up alcohol (I know that's a tough one, but something to work toward)

If you feel like you're at risk for a suicide attempt in the near future, I'd recommend getting some medication. Anti-depressants like fluoxetine and wellbutrin are usually the ones recommended if you have low energy.

If you are not at risk for an attempt, I'd recommend trying acupuncture and Chinese herbal medicine first. I'll put some general information about these treatments at the end of this post, but there's also some information in my signature links. Here's a copy of the links in case you're on a phone.

Treating Depression, Anxiety, Insomnia and General Help
Acupressure Self-Massage for Depression, Insomnia, and Anxiety



-------------------------
Chinese Medicine and Acupuncture is the world’s second largest medical system, serving more than 1.5 billion people worldwide. It is fully incorporated into the public health systems of China and Japan
https://www.uwc.ac.za/Faculties/CHS/SoNM/Pages/Chinese-Medicine-and-Acupuncture.aspx
The World Health Organization (WHO) has endorsed Traditional Chinese Medicine. The 11th revision of the WHO's International Statistical Classification of Diseases and Related Health Problems (ICD) will include Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) for the first time. The ICD-11 will come into effect on January 1, 2022.
https://www.integrativepractitioner...est-icd-includes-traditional-chinese-medicine

The WHO published an official report in 2003 listing 31 symptoms, conditions and diseases that have been shown in controlled trials to be treated effectively by acupuncture.
https://reliefacupuncturepa.com/world-health-organization-approved-list/

The US Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services announced in January 2020 that acupuncture would be covered nationally by Medicare for the treatment of chronic low back pain.
https://www.cms.gov/newsroom/press-...-chronic-low-back-pain-medicare-beneficiaries

A study published in the British Medical Journal found no serious adverse events occured as a result of treatment with acupuncture within the study's sample. It estimated serious adverse events to occur less than once for every 10,000 treatments, making it much safer than many conventional medical treatments.
https://www.bmj.com/content/323/7311/486
That's great. Very comprehensive. I'll take some tips from this, myself, too. Thank you.
 

barr26

New Member
#8
mors321, I'm in the same boat. Not entirely sure I'm full-fledged suicidal, though I have been thinking about and researching how to jump off a building, cliff, or whatever. My reasons aren't really relevant here, but the one thing that's probably going to keep me from going through with anything like that are my loved ones.....my grown kids, parents, friends....the devastation they would feel would be with them for the rest of their lives. I'd be the selfish one, ending my own pain, but causing unending sorrow for others.

In this case, it kind of sucks to be so empathetic.

I hope you're having a better day today.
 

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