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Living in a world without love and being really lonely.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by jamie20m, Sep 23, 2008.

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  1. jamie20m

    jamie20m Well-Known Member

    Can it be done? Can you live a life without ever having a partner? Without anyone loving you? And not having many friends. Can it be done? I need to know if it can be done.
  2. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    A true connection can't be made until you first love yourself.
  3. JohnADreams

    JohnADreams Well-Known Member

    It can be done, it just isnt all that pleasant.
    and it's hard to love yourself when no one else gives a crap. So we're pretty much screwed. A nice thought to live with.
  4. abyss

    abyss Well-Known Member

    it can be done and its even possible to enjoy it. my father realized that his social issues were preventing him from having a lasting relationship and decided to stop persuing them. he instead focused on enjoying the things he liked best. taking part in his interests. bettering himself and living his life to its fullest. he has made good friends in the process that fill his desire for companionship. it wasnt an easy decision in the beginning for him, but he's never been happier. it is possible and its not all that bleak.
  5. worlds edge

    worlds edge Well-Known Member

    Absolutely. Look at the Desert Fathers of early Christianity. They seemed to live to ripe old ages and often went literally years without speaking to or even seeing another human. They also experienced great privation. I guess they were happy doing what they did, most of them did volunteer for it.
  6. Chernarus

    Chernarus Well-Known Member

    ive done it this long i only have like 3 friends and no girl friend but it sure takes its toll
  7. aoeu

    aoeu Well-Known Member

    Possible, but hard. You will find someone to spend your life with... I'm shy, and it's hard, but be yourself, do what you like, and someone great -will- come into your life. Just wait.
  8. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    It's possible to live like a hermit without any companionship, but it isn't easy as human beings are naturally social beings. Still, there are times when I just want to be alone. Though I wouldn't want to spend my whole life alone.
  9. EmptyLife

    EmptyLife Well-Known Member

    no. it's impossible. and i can't wait until i'm dead. it's been an absolutely miserable life. people are hateful and miserable to me, no matter how hard i try.
  10. sicksadworld

    sicksadworld Member

    I'm really sorry that you feel that way. Believe me when i tell you that I know how you feel.
  11. touglytobeloved

    touglytobeloved Well-Known Member

    It can be done, but its very hard. You can live, but that wouldnt be a life. Im just speaking for myself, i dont want to be interpreted in a wrong way.
  12. touglytobeloved

    touglytobeloved Well-Known Member

    I disagree fromthatshow, JohnADreams said exactly what i think, too. Or better said, what i know...
    John, also, i must say, that can be a nice thought to live with, if you want to live, but its also very painfull to live with that thought.
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 24, 2008
  13. touglytobeloved

    touglytobeloved Well-Known Member

    abyss, tell me this: What if thats the thing you like the most? What if this is your best interest and goal in your life, and you have no other goals, or you dont want to have, when you cant achieve that to be loved and to have friends? What is more important than that?
  14. touglytobeloved

    touglytobeloved Well-Known Member

    Its like you are waiting for a bus on a train station.
  15. purplefizz

    purplefizz Senior Member

    Different people have different needs. In general, it wouldn't be easy. I know I wouldn't want to live like that.
  16. aoeu

    aoeu Well-Known Member

    You'd be surprised... I was.
  17. free_your_mind

    free_your_mind Active Member

    i wouldn't either, i would rather die if i lived like that for the rest of my life.
  18. abyss

    abyss Well-Known Member

    if what you need most out of life is someone else to love you and tell you that you deserve love.... then you really need to learn to love yourself. cuz in truth, people who are incapable of loving themselves will not be able to truly accept love from another. they will always doubt and question that love until they eventually convince themselves it is a lie and leave the person before the person leaves them. its a vicious cycle, but self-love must come first, or there cannot be a true connection, just as was said before.

    besides, if your whole focus in life is to get another person to love you.... you have not fully explored who you are yet. these things come in time if you are open to it. everyone has interests, they just may not have found them yet, or are too focused elsewhere to notice them.
  19. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I guess I am the freak here. I have major trust issues with people, So I am an isolationist. I stay locked in my bedroom for the last 15 years. I won't let any one get close. That includes family. I use to be very outgoing and trusted everyone until the screwed me. I had a nervous breakdown and have not regained my confidence or trust. When I am out I just ignore people when the talk to me. I have my daughter, and my grandaughter to keep me going, but the doesn't always work. They have moved down here with us, and every since my anxiety and panic attacks have been alot worst. I guess it is because I had wait in the car because I couldn't bear to talk to anyone. My daughter had to drive me to home. (she has no driver license for two years).
    The answer to your question is no I won't fall in love again. I gave it my all in the last one and I have nothing to offer anyone else. I hope you find yours!!
  20. Reki

    Reki Well-Known Member

    Like some other people said before, you do need to have some feelings of self-worth in order to feel confident and befriend other people. I'm not about to get into a discussion about confidence but you need a reason to feel good about yourself. It always makes me sad to see someone saying that if other people don't love you then you cannot come to love yourself. Your self-worth should be based on what you believe to be true about yourself, not what other people tell you. Those people don't know you like you know you, they don't spend twenty four hours in your mind every day, they don't know everything that you've been through, the only way their opinions can hold water over your own is if you allow them to.

    That said, you still need reasons to feel good about yourself even if other people are taken out of the picture. It's up to you to get up the ambition to work on your failings. You're a human being and your life matters.
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