Living in fear...

Hi everyone, well if you must know, ive lost all security within myself, and i cant trust guys anymore.
i just found out well i kinda did know but at the time my brain was all in a daze from by beating in late august, but now i do know i've been raped by my ex alex, and i fear that i might be pregant with the kid. im still mourning over Alyessa's and Daniel's death,
now with this info i have reason to belive my life is start to crumble down and let trouble find me.
im healing but i don't know if i'll ever function properly
luckily i have someone to look to for support and he is the only one i trust his name is Spencer and we've been friends since preschool.
but depression is a bitch and docs think im fakin it,
i know suicide is final and you have to think it out to the VERY last detail but suicidaly felling are coming back and i want to cut and drink and smoke and sleep.
and i strongly believe that i can testify in court if i give it my all and i also believe life has to get worst before it gets better
and its the only reason im still here is that statement

That is all~
Darkdragon44 aka Mabelle

 

it sounds like you have had a lot of bad stuff happen to you all at once. I hope that you can get some support here and elsewhere

if the doctor thinks you're faking it, you might want to see a new one