Ok, I just wanted to get this down before it drifted out of my head. I feel like every single day i am living on this upper layer of life, trying my hardest to be unaware of the things and the depth beneathe. i know about this depth but i know i can never understand it. I feel that if i dont manage to live above this abyss it will eventually encompass me. This living above it though is empty. its false. everyones smiles are fake, everyone acts like they care about the world around them but infact are engulfed in the world they have created for themselves. I can fit in, but i hate that i do as somtimes i forget that abyss. At that moment it seems like a good thing but in reality im denying the truth. I deny the truth because i do not know the truth, i cannot hope to understand it. All I know is this life I am living is not the truth. it is not being alive, merley existing. Existing will never be enough for me. does anyone else feel the same way? like we live in a false perception of what could be?