Life lately has been almost unbearable. I'm mad every morning when I wake up simply because I woke up. I don't think anything will ever get better for me and I KNOW suicide is the only way out of this mess. It's really scary to me how much suicide has been in my head lately. I have several different methods to choose from and have begun making the appropriate arrangements. I typed a suicide note and left it on my desk top because I know the first thing people will wanna do is go through my laptop to find out what drove me to suicide. These feelings are really scary. Does it get better? Will I look back on this one day and see how foolish I have been?