Living on the edge

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by afraidoflife, Oct 26, 2011.

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  1. afraidoflife

    afraidoflife Active Member

    Hello.. I have paranoid schizophrenia and I am a 25 year old male, I suffer from voices and delusions and have been more or less in and out of the psychward since I got the illness about 7 years ago or so. Also yesterday I had a relapse on drugs again. Reason for last admittance was I survived my overdose attempt (it was no cry for help, it was lethal) about 8-9 weeks ago got to hospital in ambulance and got help, they gave me some form of coal or something black aswell as they pumped my stummack. I am mad at God and Jesus for not listening to me when I pray, as I have tried to be a good person all my life but its not workin out. Few friends/family I once had are now lost or dead or moved away.. I never really had a friend except for my family many are living but I TOTALLY lost myself in this schizophrenia hell. Its a living nightmare hearing voices, now I am back to psychosis again I feel its coming and I want to end it real bad I dont want to have another life after this one. I had enough of the earth, I am a victim of schizophrenia and sufferer. If God only would do something for me then I would be greatful, instead of looking at me through his hands as he is now doing and have been for the times being. I have found a mountain which is tall enough to do it, I just cant cope with this welfare money, or the situation I am in, I want no more of this, please
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi hun i am sorry you are suffering with this illness I have so many in my family that have it as well i had 3 brothers a twin now my daughter all have it.
    I find with the newer medication they have become more stable now hun I would ask your doc to try them okay Don't give up hope yet There are people with schizophrenia that are working that are living their lives hun
    You just need to find that right combination of medication that will take those voices away hun abilify is a good med my daughter is now trying zeldox another new med but do not give up hope okay Each day they come out with new meds hun even new therapy now to help schizophrenia pt deal with living better. I know it is hard and at times it seems so dark but you are not alone okay keep posting hun keep reaching out okay hugs to you
  3. afraidoflife

    afraidoflife Active Member

    Thanks for the kind words, its highly Appreciated. I am on Zoloft and Zeldox, I used to take Abilify before but it didnt work. May God take the wheel out of my hands, I need him to calm me and comfort me. Jesus, take the wheel.
  4. sudut

    sudut Well-Known Member

    hey, you know what, just hang on. there is no need of finding a permanent solution. this too shall pass.
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