Hi. I've been tempting fate lately. I'm not sure I'll be able to take my own life consciously, so I end up placing myself in risky situations, hoping something goes wrong, like when I cross a road or when I'm on the roof, and I start moving very slightly so that I come as close as I can to putting myself in danger. I try to convince myself otherwise, but secretly I know I'm wishing for an accident to happen. I recently talked with my dad. He thought I was unusually reclusive. I was as honest with him as I could be and after we talked, I felt as if some of my tension had been relieved, but it didn't really last. Since then I've gone back to being the same hopeless guy I was before.