Hi. Background about me:- Master of pharmacy student.. been in university for 8 years. Tired of studying. - Typical nagging mother.Always put me down when I was young. Common phrases were "you're a devil child!" (all because I don't put away cups / plates when she wants me to the moment she asks). - Mild schizophrenic father (has delusions of grandeur - believes he is the second coming of christ.. will be crowned king of china.. hears voices) and is also alcoholic (brews his own beer and drinks 3 stouts a day). - Friends are ok - fun to be with. Care about them. - Have a part time job - also fun, nice to help people. - Have a dog that I love - he's 8 years old - starting to get arthritis. Have had a nagging thought of dying for the past 8 months via: 1. <mod edit Robin - Method> and then just going (this way I would be asleep & not know I'm choking to death) or 2. <mod edit Robin - Method> and never wake up 3. <mod edit Robin - Method> (again, being asleep you won't realise you're breathing water). Basically nothing dramatic - quiet, easy, indepedent. Why I haven't done it yet? 1. Because my long time boyfriend keeps asking me to wait another week..and so forth and so forth.. 2. I am never left alone to do anything like that and I want to find a private spot so I don't shock the family and give them criminal suspicion (if i was to do it in the house then the cops will come and get suspicious and bla bla?) and also don't want to shock the family to find me dead - rather a stranger - and then they can just be informed. 1. I realise life isnt that bad. Others have it worse. but: Why I think ' why not? " - counter arguments to the famous lines: i) Yes people get upset.. yes the people I love get sad... ==> but.. if you're dead.. you're dead.. so.. doesn't affect you then? ii) Its selfish to hurt / bring sorrow to the ones you love! ==> Well, people die anyway.. grandfathers.. aunties.. uncles.. its sad.. but.. over time they get over it... fond memories.. sad memories.. all memories.. life goes on regardless iii) There's so much good things in life! ==> yet at the same time- Just don't see the point? Happiness is just an emotion.. and if you're dead, you don't feel either happy or sad.. coz.. life's over? iv) It's just an inability to cope with stress... not a bad thing! ==>True.. but I mean, by dying, then you dont have to deal with anything. It's quite a good resolution. v) Try talking to someone ! (Like a psychologist!) ==> Well, lots of yada yada about how to 'time manage' duties and responsibilities.. taking time out.. taking 'quality time/me time' - do things you enjoy... But still - why bother? I'm not saying happiness is a nice feeling. It is. But.. why bother? To live in life you have to work, do daily chores.. eat.. defacate.. sleep.. Food is nice -there is good food - but that costs money. And to get money you need to work. And to work you need to take out time to work . And when you work you're working for a business to give some higher person money. And all of this is to live. Seeing friends require fuel.. money for lunches.. money for presents.. I could earn $65k / p.a. but .. I mean.. if you dont live.. you don't have to work.. you don't have to eat.. you don't have to do anything. Because you're dead. And even if I were to die today.. this post will just be put back amongst the pages of other posts.. or deleted. So really... 1 person dying is just a statistic.. and life goes on.. Discuss.