living with girls

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by Hache, Sep 26, 2009.

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  1. Hache

    Hache Well-Known Member

    I am male and live with girls (just started), it is damaging my self esteem. Maybe it isnt because they're girls, more likely it is because of their lives versus mine.

    They are constantly talking about sex and sexual things. Something I am not getting and never have and am nowhere near to achieving.

    They talk about how good someone was, or how bad they were, what that particular man couldnt do right. Which just adds to my fear of inadequacy.

    When we go out they get with guys, kiss guys, even one's they dont care for, i guess for esteem reasons of their own. Whilst I cant get anyone, certainly not in that mannor.

    When we are together in the flat they are talking about the txt messages they are making with guys at that time.

    I feel so bad about who I am and what I dont have.
  2. shefallsasleep

    shefallsasleep Well-Known Member

    Could you maybe tell them you feel abit uncomfortable with all the sexual conversations without being specific about why? Hopefully the would understand x
  3. sammakko

    sammakko Banned Member

    Have you tell these girls what you feel?
  4. Hache

    Hache Well-Known Member

    nope, i am pretty adament it is because i have no one. If i say something it will just make things awkward when we are all together or i am in a room with some of them, they'll then avoid talking to each other about things.

    I do not want to make them not want me here.
  5. sammakko

    sammakko Banned Member

    But you are suffering...
  6. Hache

    Hache Well-Known Member

    just got to grin and bare it i suppose, end of the day wherever I go on my mind is going to be my social and love failure. I dont know what to do with life in general.

    Anyway I actually like 1 of the girls, she doesnt talk about things like the others, but she does go out to kiss boys.
  7. mike25

    mike25 Well-Known Member

    The girls should show a bit more class & sensitivity when you're around. Next time they start a boring convo about sex blah blah, just make your excuses (e.g I've got work to do, I'm going to the gym, I have to make a call, etc). You don't have to listen to their babbling.
  8. Hache

    Hache Well-Known Member

    Today I got a strong impression of being an outsider. When I walked in the room they often stopped a conversation, i'd sit down for a while, watching tv with them, it would be quiet, then i'd go to my room, and I can hear them talking again straight away, lol

    I am stupidily paranoid

    Although that hasn't bugged me too much.

    But I am going through issues to do with the direction of my life. My social life and love life is non exsisting.

    The next time a night out appears I doubt I will be invited as they have been talking about certain guys in particular they are after. I'd just get in the way. Especially after what I saw on Friday where some of them went off to jump on a group of guys, leaving me with those who were in relationships and so not really doing much, so if those people arnt there, I wont be invited and they wont be there, because they dont want to go out much.
  9. Hache

    Hache Well-Known Member

    ... and they have gone without me lol
  10. NoGood

    NoGood Well-Known Member

    When they stop talking when you come into a room i bet its cause they are talking about something private or embarassing. I lived with 4 guys and 3 girls in college and if i was talking privately with someone i would stop the convo if someone walked in and then i wouldnt be able to come up with a topic quick enough to make it un-noticable that we stopped talking.

    Could you possibly listen to there sex talks and maybe take hints, i dont know. Im just trying to turn something you think of negatively into something positive.

    When you say you like one of the girls, be careful cause you live with her. Feelings can get confused.

    I think you are right not too tell them how you feel, truely it would only make the situation weird and the girls would prob bitch about it with each other behind your back.

    I think, if i was in your shoes, I would just try and get on with things. If you lived with guys they would prob talk about the conquests and similar stuff so just try and live it it I guess.
  11. sammakko

    sammakko Banned Member

    When I lived with my sister and my mother I always yelling for them "I do not want to hear that" ! or " Wait stop, I run my my room at first" ! "No, not again, why you can not be without talking about those yacki things" !

    And I am female and there was not any problems because of that.

    (Promblems were something else).
  12. Hache

    Hache Well-Known Member

    They are talking about boys, a couple of times they've been unable to say something with me in the room and made it clear that that is why.

    I am just completely out of place here.

    they dont talk graphic

    I need to get away so I dont become too infatuated.

    In my life in general I have no social life or love life, which leads to depression. Living here just provides a lot of triggers and no help.

    I do not know what to do with myself.

    My fear is that will make me even more excluded.
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