Had a talk with dad that scared the shit out of me and triggered my depression. He said he's retiring soon and that he needs me to get out in the world and live. I told him with my illness that is difficult. He said he knows but I have to do something, he's seen others with my illness work even though they are not well. He said I need to dig deep and find programs to help me make it possible. I have been doing my best to learn web design, but the side effects of the medication has given me alot of setbacks so I wasn't able to complete it in the year like I thought I could. I know what he is saying, I never wanted this for myself. To be ill and stay home to live with parents. But I cant do this alone either. Just the other day I went out to run errands and I started feeling real sleepy, I was lucky to drive home. It felt like I was stoned on top of getting sleepy. It just depresses me cause I know I need help and find it difficult to try and do all this myself. Dad wants me to do as much as I can on my own cause he and mom wont be there one day. I have a sister, but she is 11 years younger and cant handle my problems when I talk about them. It eats at my heart to be like this.....I was so independent before, I've always been able to get jobs in the past, I learned to be oppurtunistic from being an independent contractor. I have filed for disability, which I was hoping not to go on cause I wanted to go back to work. Now I got a rejection letter from them and need to go find a lawyer to win my case. I'm sure I can get the lawyer on my own. But this other stuff, getting out to live out there and being on my own? I'm freaking clueless at the moment, how the hell am I suppose to get out there when I'm having mental and physical difficulties? I know dad didnt mean to trigger me and have my depression kick in, but I feel really shitty about myself...my "life" and all the things I am missing out on. Anyone out there with a similiar situation like me able to be on their own in spite of their disability? Advice would be greatly appreciated.