Living with other suicidal people

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by the_me_that_you_know, Jul 31, 2007.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. One person to be exact, is just as-if not more so-suicidal as me. I talk to her all the time about it, I tell her to go get help. She refuses the hospital. Her being this way around me just causes my thoughts to turn wrong, it's like this: she has tried to kill herself before by taking strong narcotics in large amounts. If she really does go through with it, I go next. I can't stand it that she's repeatly lettin me know that she wants to die. That only makes me more suicidal. This is a bad situation. :blink:
  2. resistance

    resistance Staff Alumni

    How about you both go and see a doctor together? Seeing a doctor and letting out your feelings can be a daunting experience, maybe she'll feel better if you go with her. While you're there, you can talk about your depression too. :hug:
  3. letdown

    letdown Guest

    I've been in this situation many times. It's taken me..4 years? but I think I've got to the point where I'm realising looking after myself, which means setting clear boundaries between me and other people who are suicidal themselves, (also distancing myself from vulnerable situations where I get caught up in others problems) means that I actually feel better. I'm still working on this issue, because I've tried to look after myself through other people which is very destructive to not only myself but others too (I have what they say are 'rescuing' tendencies). Maybe you could alert other people (doctors, crisis team) as to how worried you are. It sounds a very stressful situation and I've been with family members like this and I had to get away otherwise I'd do something to myself. You both are separate people. You both have issues that are separate and you are both responsible for your own lives, not each others. I'm not saying to not offer support but there's only so much you can do for others. Do you have a counsellor? I've found them very helpful, in that I can discharge any anger/suicidal feelings there and keep other people safe from them. You both are vulnerable here. She's letting you know she wants to die because she wants some body to stop everything, her pain, and you are not equipped to do that. You can't save her. Tell the hospital, her GP as to how worried you are, and you want a Mental Health Act assessment for her (or whatever is equivalent where you are as I'm in the UK) and take care of yourself. :hug:
    Last edited: Jul 31, 2007
  4. She does think that we are responsible for eachother. Just because we both come from families who have died and we are all that's left. So we have to be there for eachother. However, she needs help. More help than I could possibly give. Yet she expects me to. And it's not like we have a nice communication thing going. I can't talk to her about my feelings 'cause it's too hard. She will just get more negative toward me.
  5. letdown

    letdown Guest

    :hug: By continuing to let her place responsibility of her life on to you, she's avoiding taking her own steps to get help and to help herself. Maybe it's too frightening for her. Maybe this is the only way she can communicate..through you and it's a very heavy task to take on and something you are free to put down clearly what you can and cannot do. You are also free to walk away from her. Maybe she will be more negative towards you (does she verbally abuse you?) if you did state clearly, calmly and consistently what you are not willing to take on to your own shoulders seeing as you have serious mental health problems yourself. I was thinking of perhaps writing a letter with clear bullet points? Or if you think she is vulnerable from attempting suicide with such a letter, perhaps you should let other agencies, organisations, mental health teams know right now. Also when you're there you have to make it clear you cannot cope with her and that you think she's going to take her own life soon.

    Please take care. It sounds like a nightmarish situation to be in. :hug:
  6. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    If you are having trouble communicating with her in person, sit down and write out what you wish you could say to her if you could. Then give it to her. As was mentioned, you need to set boundaries where she is concerned. You cannot help her if you yourself are not in a good place emotionally. yes you can support each other, but only in the times you feel up to it. You need to take care of yourself before you try to take care of her. You both need to seek help in dealing with your depression. Please take care. :hug:
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.