Logic is crazy.

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by SomeguyUk, Sep 19, 2012.

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  1. SomeguyUk

    SomeguyUk Active Member

    Im 20, I'm good looking, I have been told I am a really sweet guy and have "jokes" whatever that means. So why do people walk all over me. Yeah I am a push over and probably too much of a nice guy but I didn't really see the damage it has done till last night.

    I have had an unlucky year, had to retake uni first year, family health issues, currently broke and going hungry because I spent too much trying to have fun and "live life", also spent what I had spare helping friends out.

    So here it is and although it is because of a woman and I know its stupid but hear me out. This girl I met, beautiful, nice to people she liked but bit of a bitch to those who she didn't. Through all her faults though I had very strong feelings for her, I suppose you could say I was in love. Alas all good things explode in your face. My mate said I was the unluckiest guy he know when it came to everyday life. For example I tried to buy a computer desk from ikea and ended up being given a filing cabinet and refused to to be refunded. My rent is due nest week yet my finance will not be released to me till October because of "Problems".

    So I'm with this girl and we fell out over the summer and I'm spilling my heart out, putting everything I have into fixing it but its not good enough. "You're a really nice guy blah blah and I want to be real close friends with you but blah blah blah."

    My problem is I try day in and day out to be a good guy, everyone before me because I saw myself as a strong person able to deal with life and its constant stream of shit. I contemplated just checking out and seeing whats on the otherside. Even then I struggled to find a way where people wouldn't be harmed or effected by my death. I've been told Karma will soon work in my favor but to be honest it is bull.

    Logically my brain is saying what is the point. You've done what you can but there's only so much shit you can deal with you are human. Yet at the same time I can not change who I am so perhaps all nice guys are cursed as they always be subject to those who don't give a shit

    Ask me what the meaning of my life is, my answer would be to exist to make the lives of those around me better. Which leads me to the problem of I can not kill myself because it will hurt some people but I don't want to live anymore because this is torture.

    Sorry for rambling
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Logic used to be the only way i could get through another day emotions were useless. You hun can change and must in order to survive YOU have to be able to say NO i cannot help right now i am in need of help You are 20 so life is so full of stress right now but things change so quickly hun they do. A new girl a new goal struggles will not always be there just now they seem unsurmountable. I hope landlord can postpone payment until money is here explain to him what is happening The girl well hun there will be more there will be. Logically the world is still yours as you are so young don't give up hun things will change and you will be a stronger person for getting through all the bs and struggles you are having hugs
  3. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    I admire your desire to help others have a better life. That's good of you. I'm sorry life in general is giving you the short end of the stick these days.

    Just want to say that sometimes, to make things better for others, we have to take care of ourselves first. Could you make a list of your own basic needs - the things you must have/do in order to survive - and then re-assess what can reasonably be given to others that doesn't compromising your own needs? We can give while we have our own needs taken care of. When we give until there's no more to give, we can barely survive ourselves let alone give to others. Life imperative for basic survival is "self, family (if you have it), others"...and it seems to run true of any kind of resources, whether that means money, time, clothes, food, creature comforts, caring. We cannot give what we no longer have.

    Not sure if that made sense. :dunno:

    As to the girl - if she didn't appreciate you for the sort of person you are, remember that you deserve better. You deserve someone who cares about you the way you care about her. That doesn't take away how hurt you feel now, but maybe it will give you the oomph to keep looking for that special young woman who can care in equal measure. Maybe take things slowly with new people so that you don't give all your efforts/resources to people who just take. It takes time to learn how people really function and there are "takers" out there. You CAN and WILL find people who appreciate you if you get to know them before giving them your all. The people who just take don't deserve all the goodness you offer - in my opinion. I think it would be so much more rewarding to be in an equal relationship where both people are giving and taking in a balanced way.
  4. SomeguyUk

    SomeguyUk Active Member

    Thank you both for your replies.

    I know I have to learn to say no now and again and put myself first, but as wierd as it sounds when others are happy then I am happy. It's only when I am alone those bad feelings hit me like a train.

    I remember reading about a young kid, had a brilliant education and a bright future ahead of him. He was only 15 but was a genius. He logically calculated if there was any point in living and decided that there were more cons than pros. I feel for that kid though, as sad as it is I can see where he is coming from. The only thing that has stopped me from killing myself is the same thing that has put me in the situation where people abuse my trust, but at the same time I can't kill myself because of those who i do hold close.

    There needs to be more people like both of you in this world.
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