Logically Suicidal

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Feared.Desire, Jun 13, 2009.

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  1. Feared.Desire

    Feared.Desire Well-Known Member

    So, I thought I was doing better, but long and behold I started going downhill again, which caused my girlfriend to think I don’t love her (as much) anymore -which is fucking ridiculous- and here I am, without her. Same situation, and again having a serious lack of skin on my shoulders ;) just the way I like them.

    Anyways, I think I’ve hit a point where it would be better off for society/everyone if I killed myself. Here me out.
    It started off as depression, but eventually evolved into an unfathomable hatred for people. I hate people, and I want every single human to die. I spend time thinking of the best ways someone could seize control and/or exterminate this bullshit race.
    When I walk down the streets all I can think about is how I despise every person I see.
    Another thing I hate, sex. Honest to god, there is no natural human urge I find more disgusting, and our entire culture seems wrapped around this bullshit. Now, it’s not the ‘sex’ I find disgusting, it’s how we flaunt it. As a culture we try and suppress certain emotions; however this one is portrayed as a god, and its god damn despicable. It’s pathetic, and I don’t see how people ignorantly go around trying to hop on everything they can find. Everyone is a slave to this one ‘need’. We spend our free time trying to get laid, and when we need to advertise something we just display something with tits on it. Humans are the most worthless things this planet could have possibly produced.
    I can’t even go out and have a good time, because the only thing I can think of is how disgusted I am with everyone I see.
    My only aspirations, (whether deemed productive by others or not) are in the end, based somehow around the possibility that I may rid the world of just a few of us, and in my own small way, doing the world a favour.

    Evidently I do not share the same values as everyone else seems to. So, from my point of view, there is something very wrong with every human being, and they deserve to burn – and I hope they do. However; from everyone else’s point of view, I could also see how I would just be an insanely angry, twisted and contorted sociopath.

    I’ve become more of a walking time bomb as far as I’m concerned than anything else. As of now, I’m a pacifist, and do not believe in meaningless violence. But there is only so much anger I can keep built up inside. (I realize the possible contradiction of my being a pacifist and wanting the kill everyone. But, you see, I disagree with meaningless violence. I do not think ridding the world of humans is a meaningless cause.) I feel as though killing myself would actually be beneficial.
  2. justafool

    justafool Well-Known Member

    I do understand how you feel. I am also a pacifist, but I'm also very unimpressed with the human species (we are immature and dim-witted, for the most part).

    But the anger you feel is simply purposeless. Such a consuming anger as yours demonstrates that you have to do some work to rise above the human perspective. Unless you are able to achieve a level of awareness that is in tune with your pacifism, then you are just "one of the crowd."

    So aim higher than you have been. Don't get mired in the morass of human emotional squalor.
  3. Ptitz

    Ptitz Well-Known Member

    oh yeah, i feel you man... youre not the only one.
  4. Ophelia1600

    Ophelia1600 Active Member

    Remember when people told you school years were the best years of your life? Well first off, mine sucked. Second, if they were the best years why the heck should I continue? If you believe that heaven is well "heaven", then why the heck would you want to continue living? Wouldn't you want to die as soon as possible to get to heaven? I too say I hate people. I usually tell my friends they are not people. Where I live strangers say hello to you as you pass by, and I'm always like-who the heck are you, I dont know you why on Earth are you talking to me. I get frustrated with the "people" you come into contyact with everyday. The cashier at the grocery wishes me a good day and I want to scream. I'd be happier alone on a mountain w/ my cable and my cat. It's not so much that I want to die as I dont want to live. I just dont see the point. People say its the little everyday pleasure that make life worth living. Well I don't have any pleasures. I hate going out of my house for any reason because "people" are out there. I keep losing jobs because eventually my disdain for people comes through. Life is hard, and I dont think its worth trying to make it work. I'll never have a good life, so why should I bother with life? I don't have an answer for you, except that people who committ suicide in a manner that physically hurts other people is just plain wrong. Just because you want out doesn't mean you have the right to take other people out. You're right to die stops at the next person's nose. I wish you well.
  5. Feared.Desire

    Feared.Desire Well-Known Member

    Fair statement – I have to rise above it.
    I tried to live how everyone else does in-between my trying to kill myself before, and now. I really did.
    I enrolled like I have wanted to for so long (only reserves mind you, I still have a lot of schooling ahead of me, then I plan on joining full time), went to martial arts on a regular basis, got an honor role average, etc…
    However; here I am.
    Bettering myself does not make me feel better.
    Nor, do I think, trying to change people will. Humanity is hopeless.

    A person is smart, but people are stupid.
    Same thing goes for all of humanity. Individually, I think every person intends well in their own way (well, most people)
    However; as a hole, we are hopeless.
    I do not want to fit it. I refuse to conform to the sad lives these people ignorantly and blindly follow.
    The only way, I feel, to make even the slightest improvement, is for at least some of them to die.
    I realize, however, that my view is also imperfect for I will be killing people who are unaware what they are dying for, and that in itself totally defeats the purpose.
    So, during all of my devious plotting on how best to make a lasting impression on these mindless drones, I have decided it far simpler to just kill myself. Faster too 

    It is comforting to know I’m not alone though

    Another thing I’ve noticed about human beings. We don’t make sense. We think we do, but in retrospect, we don’t.
    We make up little excuses to try and justify, why we are so bloody incompetent.

    People will say, I hate it when people talk behind my back  fact.

    People will also get very angry, if every time you said the things you think about them, to their face, would probably get very angry, and ask you why you have to be such an asshole.

    Illogical? Yes.
    People will make up exceptions as to why this is, and how it’s different, and the way you say it makes a difference, and all this bullshit. Nonetheless, in it simplest form, it doesn’t make sense. And if something is built off of something that doesn’t work, it just can’t function properly.

    This is the first example that comes to mind. We seem to be developing as far as our intelligence goes, however, our basic instincts and emotions are still similar to every other animal – basic and stupid (which relates back to us all being sex-slaves voluntarily)
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