So, I thought I was doing better, but long and behold I started going downhill again, which caused my girlfriend to think I don’t love her (as much) anymore -which is fucking ridiculous- and here I am, without her. Same situation, and again having a serious lack of skin on my shoulders just the way I like them. Anyways, I think I’ve hit a point where it would be better off for society/everyone if I killed myself. Here me out. It started off as depression, but eventually evolved into an unfathomable hatred for people. I hate people, and I want every single human to die. I spend time thinking of the best ways someone could seize control and/or exterminate this bullshit race. When I walk down the streets all I can think about is how I despise every person I see. Another thing I hate, sex. Honest to god, there is no natural human urge I find more disgusting, and our entire culture seems wrapped around this bullshit. Now, it’s not the ‘sex’ I find disgusting, it’s how we flaunt it. As a culture we try and suppress certain emotions; however this one is portrayed as a god, and its god damn despicable. It’s pathetic, and I don’t see how people ignorantly go around trying to hop on everything they can find. Everyone is a slave to this one ‘need’. We spend our free time trying to get laid, and when we need to advertise something we just display something with tits on it. Humans are the most worthless things this planet could have possibly produced. I can’t even go out and have a good time, because the only thing I can think of is how disgusted I am with everyone I see. My only aspirations, (whether deemed productive by others or not) are in the end, based somehow around the possibility that I may rid the world of just a few of us, and in my own small way, doing the world a favour. Evidently I do not share the same values as everyone else seems to. So, from my point of view, there is something very wrong with every human being, and they deserve to burn – and I hope they do. However; from everyone else’s point of view, I could also see how I would just be an insanely angry, twisted and contorted sociopath. I’ve become more of a walking time bomb as far as I’m concerned than anything else. As of now, I’m a pacifist, and do not believe in meaningless violence. But there is only so much anger I can keep built up inside. (I realize the possible contradiction of my being a pacifist and wanting the kill everyone. But, you see, I disagree with meaningless violence. I do not think ridding the world of humans is a meaningless cause.) I feel as though killing myself would actually be beneficial.