lol that was fun

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by lovinit, Nov 27, 2007.

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  1. lovinit

    lovinit Member

    10 days ago my parents were freaking out and punishing me for failing first quarter (freshmen year) and not being able to wrestle (only reason my dad pays attention to me, so they took everything i had away, and i had to go to my dad's office until 8:00 just sitting in a chair. So after the first day of this, i could int focus my thoughts to any extant, and i needed a way to take control of my life back, so i got home grabbed a jumbo bottle of pain killers:tongue:, and like 6 bottles of <mod edit: bunny - methods> (i got no booze) and started counting how many i swallowed. I'd heard someones little brother took <mod edit> to see what would happen and almost died, so i figured i take <mod edit>. And 40 minutes later, i felt absolutely the same, so i took another <mod edit>, then swallowed what looked like <mod edit>. So i go to bed, with my last thoughts being "ha ha Collins going to be so pissed (me and Collin are close (but not gay), aww man its going to suck not seeing my dog anymore). this is where it gets interesting, i went into a mini coma, started puking and thrashing about, my mom heard me, went to see what was wrong and called 911 i assume.
    so after being restrained by 9 men, i was taken to a hospital and then transfered to another. So i wake up,:mad:, and immediately know I'm in the hospital, the release me, my parents un-punish me (although the never let me out of there sight now :sad:), and I'm suffering no ill effects of my suicide failure. Only problem is I don't feel now, i'm sure someone knows what i mean, nothings the same, and I'm on some drug to null me (I've been on it before and it never felt like this) and i don't feel the need to live, in fact if you handed me a razor blade you'd get it back coated with blood. Also have to talk to psychiatrist, but I've been able to talk about myself, and i don't see why i would start now.

    all in all i had a good time:laugh:
    but i have no clue where to go from here
    so if someone would give me a hint
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 29, 2007
  2. Wierd

    Wierd Well-Known Member

    You could start by sorting out your feelings - it seems like you are confused about whether you are happy or sad.
  3. lovinit

    lovinit Member

    lol i spent all day thinking about that and decided im not happy or sad, not half full or empty, I'm just here.
  4. booeyburgers

    booeyburgers Active Member

    i hear ya, that is the same why i feel to. I try to research different methods. but you sound like you are heavily drugged right now so you probably can't feel anything
  5. lovinit

    lovinit Member

    right on the nose with the heavily drugged
  6. Jacob91

    Jacob91 Member

    You're certainly finding a way to cope, which I would say is good.. typically.

    But repression is a demon in itself. Just find something to preoccupy you until the repression can fade a little - it'll cloud your actions otherwise.
  7. ali

    ali Member


    I get what you mean that you feel you are just 'here'. to tell you the truth, I dont know what you should do.

    When I was in your position I was a complete mess for weeks afterwards, but hey, as cliche as this does sound, it does get easier to deal with it all.

    hope your going ok,

    if you ever feel the need to talk, my msn is
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