Hi guys. I am going to sum up my story in a few short sentences. I am 26 (almost 27) now, and I’ve been dealing with heavy and constant depression since I was 20. I am a struggling filmmaker and I have been unable to find work or to get any sort of break in the business for about two years (I don’t live in the US, so it’s not Hollywood I’m trying to get into) I have studied a lot, I am very well prepared for the job, the problem is that I don’t have the right connections to put me anywhere. So I’ve been living with my parents and with zero income for about two years since my last job (which paid like crap). At the same time I have tried to produce some independent films on my own and to be perfectly humble I do think I have talent and potential, so I’m not ready to give up yet, since many directors struggled for years before getting their break. So far things have been difficult. The whole business is incredibly closed and corrupt. However, I’m not prepared to deal with being a failure if things don’t work out. I just don't want to do anything else in life, life holds no meaning for me if I'm not able to create films. I've decided to become a filmmaker when I was 9 years old, it's pretty serious. So the idea is, I want to have a complete suicide planned for when I decide to go. It gives me comfort that if all goes wrong I have a quick and painless way out of humiliation and failure, since there is nothing else I want to do in life. I don’t barely have friends; I don’t have kids; I am not in a relationship anymore, so I don’t have much to look forward to besides my career. My plan is to hang on for a little longer, possibly until I am 32 or 33, and if by then my career doesn’t take off in any meaningful way or does not show any real promise of doing so, I will take my own life. I am interested in the <Mod Edit, WildCherry: Methods> because I don’t want my parents finding me to be a more tragic vision than it has to be, and I don’t want to attempt any method that involves illegal substances or that may put others at <Mod Edit, WildCherry: Methods> I would of course send letters back home telling them I've gone, so they wouldn't go on a search or something.