Loneliness is killing me

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by DyinginNWA, Sep 4, 2015.

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  1. DyinginNWA

    DyinginNWA New Member

    I am back in the hole I fought so hard to get out of and just that knowledge is making it worse. The thought of what it would do to my kids is the only thing keeping me alive right now. I have been here before and I know that thought will eventually lose it's power to keep me from doing it. I can't stand the isolation and loneliness anymore and there seems to be no reasonable answers.
  2. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Quieta non movere

    hey, youre not alone....

    what is keeping you isolated from others? is there some type of support group you can go to and meet new people?
  3. DyinginNWA

    DyinginNWA New Member

    I have no one in my life other than my oldest that cares enough to listen. I can't burden him with the thoughts I am having. He has enough on his plate already. No support groups, nothing.
  4. Freya

    Freya Loves SF Staff Member ADMIN

    What avenues have you explored to be around more people and build friendships? Just so we are not suggesting things that you have already tried.
  5. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi & sorry for the late reply. You could make internet friendships, I know it's not the same but it could help fill the void. What have you tried already?
  6. BlueBlue

    BlueBlue Active Member

    You can talk to us here too. Can you tell us a bit more about what's making you feel so isolated and alone? Has a particular event triggered it?
  7. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Quieta non movere

    Being isolated is tough, do you want to make new friends?
  8. Piehawker

    Piehawker Member

    I know how it feels to be utterly alone. It's been getting worse, I like hanging around with people but I could never get close to anyone (despite wanting to) I have deep seated trust issues and am 38 and never had a girlfriend. I long to hold someone and someone to hold me. But no matter what I did, no matter where I went (travelling, Uni, made a bunch of films, sports whatever) I never met anyone. Now I spend days and days alone, no emails, no texts, no calls, no opportunities. I love making films, as i'm surrounded by people with a common purpose (i'm NEVER depressed when i'm making a fim) but that ends, and I have to sit alone working as an editor or not even that. I'm just not one of those people who are called on. I'm broke, and had any confidence or hope constantly beaten out of me. Woman never show me any interest, even if I allow myself some confidence (as a director you are in charge) I am still never able to meet woman.

    It's crippling me, I suffer from horrendous IBS which destroys my confidence (along with being poor my whole life, and being let down by anyone I've put my trust in) and everyone is slowly moving away from the city I live in. Families, careers, opportunities... leaving me totally alone but desperate for friends. Any sports clubs, groups have all suddenly stopped in the last month or so. Any film offers aren't being presented to me, no matter how hard I fight for them. It's almost as if the universe knows how much I need it, so to spite me I denies me. Forcing me to be isolated.

    I hate being alone, and would love a wife and children, but for some reason isolation has been thrust upon me. Maybe my trust issues/confidence hasn't helped? I supposed when you hate yourself and want to die, no one really wants to love or be around you.

    Too much love in my heart, and nowhere for it to go. Agony!

    That's why this site is helpful, there are people who understand. Hang on in there though. Maybe things will change. I just can't see it. I can see myself making a film, but I just can't visualise that person in my life. Maybe she doesn't exist?
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