Good day to you, I am a 21 year old university student. Since my teenage years and currently in my adult life, I have been depressed. This depression was mostly brought on by the lack intimacy and love. I have never been in a serious relationship from I unfortunately came on this earth. I had been bullied as a child and I feel it reflects in my interpersonal skills. I've overcame shyness in last couple of years but I find it hard to speak to people, outside of my friends. The feeling of loneliness has grown colossal in me. I only have two women in my life that love me, well had...my grandma died on January 19, it hurts me everyday. She loved me... now she is gone, leaving me with only my mom... my mom had cancer, she went into remission over 7 years, she's a survivor but since the death of my grandma I'm fearing if... you know... I'll be left alone... and I will surely kill myself. No girl love me, no one to comfort me... my friends have perfect lives... I don't want to envy them but it seems I do... I have a momentous list of reasons why I want to kill myself. I'm not sure if I am ugly or not, maybe I am that's why I can't find love. My heart hurts... sighhh I wanna die.