Loneliness. Maybe trig, I don't know

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Twisted F, Oct 1, 2006.

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  1. Twisted F

    Twisted F Well-Known Member

    This loneliness is getting to be too much now. Kisses, huggs, intimacy, someone who smiles at me every now and then, that’s what I need. Often, I wish that I didn’t and that I could be genuinely happy without other people in my life, but this is how I am.

    I’ll never fill that need though. I’ll never be happy. I’m a 26 year old virgin who’s never been kissed and never had a girlfriend. Heck, I can’t even remember the last time a girl flirted with me, if it has ever happened. I’m fairly good looking, at least that’s what I’ve heard from girls online who have seen a picture of me, so it’s not that. Frankly, I don’t know what it is, but it doesn’t matter anymore. It has taken 15 years of repeatedly having it beaten into me, but I get it now, I finally get it: No one wants to have anything to do with me. It’s that simple, really. I don’t even have any friends anymore, they’ve all forgotten about me a long time ago. Basically, I’m destined to be lonely and miserable for the rest of my life. So how could suicide NOT be the right choice? I’m giving a serious effort to finding a good answer, but I don’t have one yet. Is there a point with living if there is no way of ever being happy?
     
  2. cthulhu

    cthulhu Well-Known Member

    i had a conversation with my mother to day, she resently came out of a deep depretion and i told her, the primary reson that no noe wanted to be around her was that she was geraly unpleasant and rather negative during this depression, now that she is out of it she is considerably more pleasant to be around....

    confidence is key in obtaining a compainion

    the gift of life is taken from so many that desire to live, can you return it to them? then do not be so quik to shed your self of your share, life is presious and valuble, no mater the sercumstanses of that life, strive for some thing more than what you have and atempt to acheve greatness


    p.s.: usless words from a usless man, please ignor them
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 1, 2006
  3. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    Hun, do you mind if I PM you....?




    (sorry you feel so bad)

    :hug:
    xx,
    Carolyn.
     
  4. max911

    max911 Well-Known Member

    What are you in to?

    Intrests wise.

    And yes, that message seems random and out of place...
     
  5. Twisted F

    Twisted F Well-Known Member

    Thank you all for your answers. I appreciate it.

    Cthulu: I’m not unpleasant to be around, not in that way anyway. I’ve had depressions for many years and my mother, who knows me better than anyone, had no idea before I told her last month. There is no way you can tell just by being around me if I’m depressed or not. I always try to be friendly and not bring people down. I’m very shy and quiet, though, because of my social anxiety, and I guess it can make people uncomfortabe. But I always try, when I’m around people, to be positive. And I have confidence, sort of. I do have a high opinion about myself and my abilities. The thing I don’t believe in is that other people value what I have. I like what I have to offer, but everyone else thinks I’m pretty worthless, at least judging by the way I’m treated. I don’t know what to do about it. I’m as good as I think I can be, within the limits my disorder sets. What can I do? Change into someone who is abusive and manipulative? I wouldn’t consider that improvment, but what do I know?

    Pain: Yeah, you can PM me if you want to.

    Max: I don’t really feel like getting into that right now. Another time.
     
  6. TheBLA

    TheBLA Well-Known Member

    I'm in just about your same position right now, 19 years old, never been with a girl at all, don't think I ever will. I consider myself pretty good looking too. Haven't had friends for years now. I for sure have social anxiety and feel inferior to everyone, I've been depressed for quite a while and only know does my dad at least realize that to his shock.
    Its interesting in that I've also just recently been thinking why I SHOULDN'T commit suicide? Whats the point of me living with me being inferior to everyone and probably destined to always be lonely?
    I guess whats different is that I keep telling myself I'm worthless, or maybe nobody knows truly how inferior I really am? I'm getting really depressed over perhaps that I will be lonely for the rest of my life as well. Sorry it doesn't help, at least you got someone that can really sympathize with you.

    Its strange how both of us are so young but we've already given up hope isn't it? Why don't we have any hope left anymore??
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 1, 2006
  7. MariaM

    MariaM Guest

    I found this site yesterday. And i´m really glad for that.

    Reading your post... it´s very weird. I could have written it, except the part that you say you are confident (or quite confident ) about yourself. Unfortunately it´s not my case.

    I agree with cthulhu. I have always been a negative person. With all my fears... fear to fail (isn´t it ironic? I was already failing). I just noticed what i was doing to late...
    I´m not a pleasant person. And i don´t blame anyone but myself... i wouln´t like to have someboby like me in my life....

    I have a depression for 10 years or so... loneliness triggers depression? Absolutely but depression also triggers loneliness.

    At this point i would be happy to find a job.

    A thing changed since yesterday... i wrote that i had no hope... but today.... i hope one day i´ll get better (in the way i can and not like the others do).

    Like i was told here "You say you're already dead inside - I disagree. You found us and posted here, so some part of you, no matter how deep inside, wants things to change and is asking for help. That's a good sign, to me, as people who have completely given up don't usually ask for help, directly or indirectly."
    And it´s so true.

    I wish you all the best in the world.

    Take care,
    Maria
     
  8. Twisted F

    Twisted F Well-Known Member

    Nkrukato: Thank you for answering. If you don’t mind, I’d like to give you some advice. First, try to realize that your feelings of inferiority is the problem you should solve. You are not inferior and you should keep that in mind whenever you feel that way. Put up a goal: tell yourself that one year from now, you will not feel like that anymore. Then get a therapist and do everything you can to reach that goal.

    As for never having had a girlfriend, I think it’s way, way, way to early for you to assume you’ll never have one. I’m 26 and I think I will be giving it at least a few more years before giving up. I guess that’s my answer to your question. You shouldn’t give up because you’re only 19 and there’s no way you could know for sure it will never get better.

    Maria: Hi and welcome to SF. I’m happy you’re here and I hope we will be able to help you. There are some amazing people on this board who never hesitate to offer any advice they may have. Thank you for the kind words. I wish you all the best as well.
     
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