Loneliness or Attention Seeking?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by loneliness or attention?, Sep 20, 2007.

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  1. FUCK! Why am i like this?

    I'm in this new place. I came here 1 1/2 months back to study.
    I always feel lonely, i have few people to talk with, i can always call someone up and go for a walk. If i am bored i can call someone to talk with! I shouldn't be feeling lonely!
    I have everything! i love my course! i have a good house, good roommates, everything I've ever wanted. Why do i feel lonely then? Why do i feel like i don't have anyone to talk with?
    I HAVE friends.
    Few days back i met few guys in UNI, omg! they are new too, they attend lectures concentrate on studies...they are so happy, even though they are lonely, they don't
    have anyone to talk with like me! they are the ones who should be depressed and feeling lonely! not me!
    Why am i complaining so much? what do i want in life?
    I've got everything now, what is missing in my life? what makes me feel like this?

    why do i doubt myself so much? can't i just accept myself, the way i am?

    why do i want to be like my roommates? they have lots of friends, girls especially. They go out, they party, they have fun! fine! i don't have all that. but can't i just accept what i have? At least I'm much better than the other new guys!

    Am i feeling like this due to lack of girls in my life? How does it matter? Why do i compare myself to my roommates? WHY??????

    Why do i want to be toooo good, like them? Why do i doubt myself so much? Why do i hate myself so much?

    While in lectures, tutorials, only thing i think of is "omg this guy next to me hates me so much", if he's talking with someone, i think "oh, he's talking bad about me!, i want to get out of here asap"
    That hurts so much! I am soo scared of tutorials, everyone there is happy, i pretend to be happy too, but i am soo scared of it, coz he asks questions to random people. you HAVE to answer if he asks you. it scares me so much. i feel everyone hates me!

    Why can't i get over it? I've self tutor myself everything, why can't i learn to feel good too?

    When will this end? When will i feel normal ? WTF is normal for me?

    Can't i deal with everything myself?

    Or.....is this just for attention?
  2. Well that should be i've taught myself everything :p lol
  3. Cath

    Cath Staff Alumni

    What is normal?
    Theres no such thing.

    You did move from a different country which is probably completely different of what you are used to.
    As I see it is completely normal to want loads of friends and girlfriends.
    That is normal at your age.
    No one hates you they just don't know you, if they knew you they would love you.

    Loads of :hug: s
  4. Thanks miss for replying,

    Well, yea you're right there's not such thing as normal. but i want to feel ok. I dont want to hate myself anymore.

    I know its just in my head, but i can't get it out. I want it to go away, but it dosent.

    sometimes i feel, having a girl close to you, having loads of friends would make me feel better. :(
    I don't know what to do. i dunno why no one talks with me IRL. this sucks so much. i need someone really close to me.....

    i dont hurt people, my roommate treat his gf well, still she's with him. iwont hurt anyone.......
  5. Cath

    Cath Staff Alumni

    Yes I know you won't hurt anyone you're a lovely person.
    People are stupid if they don't realise that.

  6. lol :( thanks a lot for your help!

    I just want someone close IRL. that would be soooo much fun!
  7. Beret

    Beret Staff Alumni

  8. Puddytat

    Puddytat Well-Known Member

    ok i just wanna say a few things...

    the whole changing country thing isnt the reason... i am exactly like you, cant be happy with my life even though its pretty great, it was that way before i moved and its still that way even worse now and im doing even better in this country, being in a different country alone just makes it that much harder to deal w/. im just hoping it will get easier when i feel more at home.

    the having a gf wont solve it either, ive got a bf, yeah its fantastic but it doesnt take away the lonely feelings. you can be alone and not lonely, you can be with tons of friends and still feel like the loneliest person alive. its only nice coz it takes your mind off it at times but its always still there.

    wish i could help you but im in exactly the same situation and i dont know what to do about it either.

  9. smackh2o

    smackh2o SF Supporter

    The closest thing I know to get rid of the lonliness is to find someone you can confide anything in. Someone you can trust so much you can tell them everything about yourself. But don't just go out there and spill your guts to anyone, this person you must trust. Even then you may still feel alone inside your head. We are all alone I guess. I spose developing telepathy would solve that.
  10. WOW! two more replies! thanks.

    Onthefence, Thanks for replying. I came here to forget what happened back in my home country, to start new. But its not working that way. you're right its making me feel worse now. I DON'T miss my home country. just that i feel more lonely here. I feel out of place, if you know what i mean.
    Maybe you're right, having a gf wont solve anything. But i had someone really close to me from school(but online) back in 2004 for 5 months. that made me feel so good. It was like i am someone else. it was awesome! seriously. But the way it ended screwed me up, thats why i am here. well i was bad before that too but well that just made things worse for me.

    Anyways, thanks a lot for replying. hope you find a solution for this problem for yourself! take care xo

    Uncle P! hi!,
    thanks for replying!
    Well, yea like i said above, i did have someone like that but that was in 2004. lol That made me feel so good :) i want to re-live those 5 months lol! that'd be fun!
    I'm too screwed up to be fixed now.
    I do have someone i like, who makes me happy. last few days i've not felt that loneliness lol I told you about that person. But i dont want to open up now. i want to give it time. i have strong feelings for this person, i dont want to screw it up. I'm confused about that person, i dont know.... i dont know what she wants....

    anyways, thanks once again, hope you're doing good :) xo
  11. Oh! i missed Beret!
    Thanks for the hug, :hug: 's back!

  12. Puddytat

    Puddytat Well-Known Member

    yeah i was running away too but i realized even tho i left for some of the wrong reasons, some of them were right and it was the best move i could have made even though i took a HUGE chance, no money, no plan, possibility of ending a helluva good relationship. luckily for me things have turned out alright... my bf came after me :cheer:
    of course i still have to deal w/ my issues.
    i feel like i dont belong here but now ive got to a point were i feel like i dont even belong at home either so now i dont know where i should be.
    having someone special is great :cloud9: but remember... here i am, still suffering, its even more complicated now coz im scared of what he'll think of all this. its good to have someone gf/or not just be keep you occupied coz sitting alone at home can make you really depressed. also someone who you can talk to about anything and they dont judge you.

    if you ever wanna talk...im sometimes on msn, just pm me and ill give you my addy
  13. Thanks again Onthefence,

    You're so right! I'm glad things worked out for you :hug:
    Well yea, having someone close to talk about issues without being judged is awesome! i've never had a girl - friend lol IRL. I'm too scared to talk with people. its not shyness. i'm scared about what people will think about me. I prefer to stay away from people, it makes me feel safe. Back in my home country i rarely went out for 1 year, after high school. i was always online, locked myself in my room.
    This sudden change in atmosphere is making me feel low, seeing other people enjoy so much....

    anyways i hope this gets better, i added you on msn, my msn id starts with m and ends with p lol
    m*********y@hotmail.com, got your id from profile.

  14. Puddytat

    Puddytat Well-Known Member

    well ive never thought it was good for anyone to stay indoors on the pc all the time. you feel better going out, to movies, for a walk, for a coffee, anything, its does wonders.
    im struggeling w/ that at the moment because those were little things that used to keep me going every day back home and since leaving i havent done much, i work then come home, thats it... thats my life, its depressing, i just find it difficult to get out there like i used to and i miss it, i even miss the sun coz im always inside, i miss the warmth and vit D. :sad:
    im even sad for my brother who pretty much lives on his pc & he has problems, tried to get him out there but no chance of helping now coz im so far away, i hear he is trying tho which is good.
  15. Well, yea i know. I'm worse than you think. Back in my country i've been to a movie ONCE. that too when i was happy! those 5 months! lol with a guy from high school. it was awesome.
    I love walks ! lol esp if you have someone to talk to, its awesome.
    Last month, i went walking to the city, its like 20+ kms..it was awesome :D but i went alone, i dont think anyone would go walking that far with me lol.
    Aww...you should go out with your b/f its awesome, go for walks! open up! lol it's really good :) are you new to that country ? when did you move?

    My roommate(a local) asked me if i wanted to go to a pub with him and his friends tomorrow, like 5 mins back. but i had to say no coz i have exams on monday, its very difficult last semester 50% students failed. i dont want to, i cant afford to lol and i've spent whole week chatting on MSN and SF. i wish i could say yes to him lol. maybe later. i have lots of time
    lol its weird i'm feeling much better now :) maybe just coz he asked me... dunno :p but this is good :) its so easy for others to make me happy, or hurt me...

    I'm sorry about your bro, pc is addictive :( i hope he gets out of this addiction :( my bro is like that too. :( he's addicted too :( i wish i could help him.

    You're so caring :) thanks for your help :) hope to see you on msn sometime...

  16. Puddytat

    Puddytat Well-Known Member

    yeah, im lazy, i probably wouldnt have gone... gonna try do a 3km walk this weekend, but thats about it. not a bad thing tho sometimes it can be good to be alone, its the action of motion that is therapeutic

    been here 35 weeks today, we are trying to get a routine but there are complications at the moment, one is hes got exams coming up so i have to force him to study instead of spending time with me, which kinda sucks but its for his own good!

    people do have that affect on you, the jury is not out yet on if its a good or bad thing, can be both but i say soak up the good stuff and throw out the bad. dont care what anyone thinks of you too, it only matters what you think of yourself.
    oh and if you can squeeze in some fun time you should! go out w/ them even if its in your break from studying (you, gotta have breaks, not even I am that much of a policewoman)
  17. haha yea 3 kms should be good, it takes me 15 mins for 1 km. When i am alone, i talk with myself. which is kinda weird.

    aww 35 weeks is, ok. i've been here for like 6 weeks. lol. I kind of like someone online, i spent this week talking with her instead of studying. i'm so scared now i dont want to fail!!! lol i still have 3 days to study... i dont think thats enough..anyways..evil me!

    People always have an affect on me, i should have a firewall filtering out the bad ones. but i wish it worked that way. i have to learn to cope,i have to learn to be happy. but it dosent work that way too. i tried. only way i can get over it is by having a positive influence, so powerful that the negetive ones wont affect me. like your bf in your case..

  18. Ziggy

    Ziggy Antiquitie's Friend

    I remember at University, I had a mate who was really popular, Loads of mates, girlfriends, parties etc, whereas I spent nearly all my time stuck in my room, and was pretty much too scared to socialize.

    Anyway the guy developed problems and all his mates left him one by one, until I was the only one left. Then one day I said to him "I really envied you, all those girls, and mates and stuff, 'cos I never had them". He simply said, "And I envied you... because you never needed them"

    We were both wrong, I guess in the end I think we simply needed each other, and I came to understand that even if we don't have lots of mates or a girlfriend, but simply have a single person, a friend, a family member or even someone online who will accept us for who we are, then we are truely blessed.
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 20, 2007
  19. Thanks a lot Ziggy :)

    IS that TRUE????

    i saved your post. I dunno why, it made me feel better :)

    But but but...he does drugs, he looks good, he has soo many friends. i know what you mean. i dunno why it hurts me so much. i dont know why i still want to be like him....

    it hurts me a lot. i want to get over it. i want to feel normal.

    i do talk with people online. but everyone hurts me. i've been on sf for 2 1/2 years. i've seen so many people here. they join sf, become good friends then they leave after few months. not caring about me. THAT hurts. it has happened so many times, i mean as friends, i dont like online relationships. it dosent mean anything. i want someone i can talk with, about anything.

    this sounds weird, but i'm 18. i've never been hugged. maybe when i was a kid, i was. but i dont remember being hugged by anyone. he gets so many hugs. lol i feel like a kid complaining now. this is so pathetic. i dont want to feel like this. i dont want to complain. i want to accept it. its affecting my academics. i cant help it. I want to feel good too.

    thanks a lot for your reply, means a lot to me....
  20. ah yea Ziggy,
    as i said in my 1st post i eny those guys who are alone yet happy!

    This feeling sucks so much.

    Why does it hurt so much when a close friend says my roommate his hot. I mean, yea he is. but why the fuck does it affect me? i dont understand, this sucks.

    Now i feel like pushing everyone away, even people online. locking myself in my room, never going out.

    I hate hearing my roommates taking with his friends, it hurts so much. i cant help it. my headphones help me a bit. but still.

    I have to wear it at night, when they party coz it hurts me. even while going to sleep, i have to wear my phone's headphone.

    I want to get over it. i want to feel ok.
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