FUCK! Why am i like this? I'm in this new place. I came here 1 1/2 months back to study. I always feel lonely, i have few people to talk with, i can always call someone up and go for a walk. If i am bored i can call someone to talk with! I shouldn't be feeling lonely! I have everything! i love my course! i have a good house, good roommates, everything I've ever wanted. Why do i feel lonely then? Why do i feel like i don't have anyone to talk with? I HAVE friends. Few days back i met few guys in UNI, omg! they are new too, they attend lectures concentrate on studies...they are so happy, even though they are lonely, they don't have anyone to talk with like me! they are the ones who should be depressed and feeling lonely! not me! Why am i complaining so much? what do i want in life? I've got everything now, what is missing in my life? what makes me feel like this? why do i doubt myself so much? can't i just accept myself, the way i am? why do i want to be like my roommates? they have lots of friends, girls especially. They go out, they party, they have fun! fine! i don't have all that. but can't i just accept what i have? At least I'm much better than the other new guys! Am i feeling like this due to lack of girls in my life? How does it matter? Why do i compare myself to my roommates? WHY?????? Why do i want to be toooo good, like them? Why do i doubt myself so much? Why do i hate myself so much? While in lectures, tutorials, only thing i think of is "omg this guy next to me hates me so much", if he's talking with someone, i think "oh, he's talking bad about me!, i want to get out of here asap" That hurts so much! I am soo scared of tutorials, everyone there is happy, i pretend to be happy too, but i am soo scared of it, coz he asks questions to random people. you HAVE to answer if he asks you. it scares me so much. i feel everyone hates me! Why can't i get over it? I've self tutor myself everything, why can't i learn to feel good too? When will this end? When will i feel normal ? WTF is normal for me? Can't i deal with everything myself? Or.....is this just for attention?