loneliness?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by themute, May 6, 2014.

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  1. themute

    themute Active Member

    I haven't been here for a while, but I really wanted to talk to someone about this and I realized it's not something I can talk about with anyone I know in real life. I hope this is in the right place. In my life I've known and drifted apart from a lot of people, mostly because I've lived in 3 different countries, but with more recent friends I think it's because I've messed things up. Today I was thinking about the people I feel totally connected with and I realized that even though I do have one great and loyal friend at the moment, I don't truly feel connected with anyone. It's not at fault with the other people in my life, it seems to just be the way it is. I'm scared I'll never really feel connected with anyone again and that I will spend the rest of my life extremely aware of feeling alone and unable to do anything about it. This is just a really scary feeling.
     
  2. Ian

    Ian New Member

    Hey, what's up? I think I might know what you mean. I actually have quite a few friends, not that I'm popular or something like that, but I've managed to keep a few people who I trust and hold very dearly. But even though I really love them I feel like they are distant somehow, like I can't really connect, even though I know them for a long time and talk to them often. Sometimes I feel guilty, because I think I don't value them enough. I think it's all in our mind though, because they actually see me as their friend, and I don't think they feel like they don't connect to me. At least that's how it is with me.

    In my case, I think it has something to do with trying to hide the depression and how I feel that people won't understand my problems, so I don't tell them anything, even though it's eating me inside. Do you think that is your case as well?
     
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Just want to say i read your post and i can relate i too never truly feel connected feel like i am always looking in on things from a distance. Fear i guess of being hurt again i don't know just a safety mechanism maybe programmed into a person Hope you can talk to someone about how you feel may help you to find a way not to feel so disconnected hugs
     
  4. themute

    themute Active Member

    Thank you so much Ian and total eclipse for replying. It means a lot. Today I am feeling better. Ian, with what you said about it all being in our minds is spot on. I definitely hide certain things in the presumption that other people won't understand, which is probably what is holding me back from connecting. Thanks for pointing that out because I didn't notice clearly until you talked about it. total eclipse, I know how you feel about it being a safety mechanism, I definitely carry that around with out being totally aware of it. Hope you are both well <3
     
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