Loneliness

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by spacecowboy, Sep 29, 2016.

  1. spacecowboy

    spacecowboy Well-Known Member

    Even though my last relationship didn't end until the last of 2001, I've been alone since 1997. Yeah, it's possible to be completely alone in the presence of others. That was me. In '01 the ex and I split. And in '02 I tried to change that situation.

    Yeah right. I searched in real life and online for 14yrs. NOTHING. I'm not a gamer, no interest at all. I'm not into role playing games. You want to play poker? Sure. You want to play Hearts? Sure. You want to play Risk? Sure. Chess or Backgammon? That would be a yes.

    I'm not looking for sex damn it. I'm looking for friends. Male/female/straight (WITH an open mind)/gay/trans. Doesn't matter. What's in the inside matters more than good looks.

    I have a good, sometimes quite risque (and raunchy) sense of humor. And I'm able to laugh at myself.

    But all they're into now is anon meth fueled hookups, which makes them bug chasers (not going to explain here, to know more, Google).

    So how does one deal with the complete loneliness? Man is a social creature. Without social interaction, we wither and die.

    And this year will be the 1st Thanksgiving and Christmas that I've spent alone since 1986. Christmas really doesn't matter much. That all changed in 1977, since then, just another day. But spending Thanksgiving alone... I guess dinner that day will be a turkey tv dinner, alone in front of the tv and online.
     
  2. BarryW

    BarryW Well-Known Member

    Spacecowboy -- I like your name because it reminds me of the show Cowboy Bebop. Maybe your name is referencing that one song about gangster of love though.

    I moved far from my family and have not dated anyone for 10 years now so I have spent my share of holidays alone. Some suggestions if you are feeling up to it:

    1) Many restaurants have a special meal on T-day, turkey dressing and all the rest, even restaurants that normally do not serve that kind of food. There is no shame in eating this meal alone in a restaurant. I left very satisfied the 1 or 2 times I did this.
    2) Do a phone call or video chat with some family members at some point during the day, especially if they are all visiting together and you aren't able to be physically present. Plan the call ahead of time with them to avoid any worry or backing out at the last minute.
    3) Do your best to put the holiday out of your mind on the days leading up to it and you might can make it through without much notice. This could be tricky depending on how much you are into holidays.
    4) If you have close friends in town you may be able to eat dinner with them / their family. I have been lucky enough to share T-day a couple times this way after they heard I had no thanksgiving plans. Bring an extra side dish (or cook something if you can) to sweeten the deal!
     
  3. spacecowboy

    spacecowboy Well-Known Member

    Not one single friend anywhere on the planet anymore. No damn way to even get to a restaurant without a car. Buses are on a holiday loop and end early. No video chat. My brother is 200 miles away. He'll probably be spending it with a girlfriend (if he still has the same one by then). And after what he just pulled, he can go do a sexual act upon himself. Don't damn well promise me that you're going to call me and then damn well DON'T. Especially when he knows first hand the mental mess that I'm in. It's been over a week and no damn call.

    I'll probably call my mom, but that'll end up getting her bent out of shape. No, she won't be pissed. I'll having her bawling like a little girl. It will hurt her terribly and I hate doing that to her. She's not a young woman anymore. Hell, just the thought of that has set my emotions going.

    The holidays themselves aren't a big deal. It's being able to spend time with friends/family.
     
  4. spacecowboy

    spacecowboy Well-Known Member

    Dang, no time to edit a post. My name is in reference to the Steve Miller Band song.
     
  5. BarryW

    BarryW Well-Known Member

    Thanks for explaining about your name. Good to know that there are many songs about space cowboys :)

    I'm glad to hear you do have at least someone to talk to on the phone sometimes, even if the conversations can be tough. Sometimes I feel that I have given up trying to find quality people out there. Other times I regain hope and keep looking. I hope you can find a good friend soon.