Loneliness...

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by SAVE_ME, May 13, 2011.

  1. SAVE_ME

    SAVE_ME Well-Known Member

    It's actually becoming pretty unbearable now.

    Pretty crap when you can't even fit in and connect with people who are going through the same things as you.

    *Pretends this post is going to make a difference...blah
     
  2. FBD

    FBD Well-Known Member

    i duno what exactly you are going through...but ill willing to talk and whatnot if you want to
     
  3. Monoka

    Monoka Well-Known Member

    why don't you feel you fit in? let us know what your going through and we can hopefully help.

    :console:
     
  4. SAVE_ME

    SAVE_ME Well-Known Member

    This is why I went and tried out that dating site (for all the good it seems to be doing me). So I can just try and find someone on this Earth who understands me. Someone I can feel connected to on all levels.

    I feel empty everyday of my life. I've tried to fill the void by keeping busy with things (gym, swimming, arts and crafts, writing) but it only gives me a temporary relief. I still have to come home to face the sad fact that I have no one.

    Oh sure, there's family. I share a room with my younger brother (small flat, lack of space) but he annoys me. He's too happy and in your face and annoying at the worst possible times and I can't talk to him about anything deep because, to be blunt, he's a bit :screwloose: thick.

    My parents just criticize me and tell me it's my own fault like it's actually going to fix anything. Same with my older brother. I've actually been openly critical of the way my older brother does business but I'm going to be honest here...I don't hate the guy. I'm just pretty fuckin' jealous of him. It just irritates me because he's got relationships and he's got people in his life who give a damn about him but he throws it all away by doing stupid shit. I would give anything to trade places with him.

    I keep busy. I don't just sit at home and expect everything to just turn up on my doorstep (I am now but I'm kind of at a 'given up' stage at the moment). And this is the annoying part. I keep busy and I do different activities throughout the week and I still don't meet anyone. Only a small number of people turn up and it's people who are old enough to be my parents or grandparents. It bugs the shit out of me because it's like anyone my own age is purposely hiding from me or God's trying to play a funny prank on me by preventing me from coming into contact with anyone my own age. Well, do you see me laughing?

    So I decide to try and reach out on depression and suicide forums like these and it can be like talking to a wall sometimes. The pattern usually goes...I'll post and then it gets buried beneath a bunch of newer posts which magically spring up as soon as I post so mine goes unnoticed (bet you anything that's going to happen as soon as I post this reply. Just watch), or I'll post something short and vague. If I'm lucky, one or two people might reply and ask me to explain further. That's followed by me typing a bloody epic on my life and how suckish it is to be me (e.g. now). Then it gets unanswered and is left to be pushed further and further back into obscurity.

    Third scenario is someone might actually PM me every now and again and I'll reply and we'll get a little PM or e-mail or MSN correspondence going but then that person disappears never to be heard from again or just decides they want nothing to do with me and ignores me from that point on.

    Or...nothing gets answered...at all.

    I pretty much kill every fuckin' thread I reply to. It's like *walks into room* "Yeah guys, I know exactly what you're all going through!" *everyone backs out of room* which is why I hate seeing my username as the last post in any thread.

    Other people on here seem to magically have this gift for making friends and they're all on first name par with each other and give each other love and hugs and thoughtful comments and stuff. I've tried to reach out to a few people, either by PMing them, leaving a comment on their profile or replying to one of their threads offering a few words of support and encouragement but none of it gets noticed. I can't get into chat because I need to download a program for it which is blocked by my computer so chat isn't an option. Even if I did manage to go in the chat room, I probably wouldn't know what to talk about or I'd get ignored or something.

    I am literally sat on MSN at the moment. I am doing nothing productive because I'm so depressed I can't even function properly as everything seems pointless. So I'm sat here thinking "Hmm...maybe if I seem sad and pathetic enough, God'll click his fingers and magically send someone down from the heavens and into my life and we'll click just like that and understand each other and there'll be rainbows and unicorns and bunnies and it'll be like this fairytale ending." Yeah ha ha ha...no...doesn't quite work like that unfortunately.

    It's just annoying me. I'm not a materialistic guy by any means. I don't care if I'm not the best looking or if I never get rich or famous. All I have ever wanted is to just be with someone who I care about and they care about me and we get and understand each other and all that crap. This is literally the only thing I ever want in my life but I am getting denied this. Why? Yet the child molesters...what do they get? Fuckin' lottery wins! The liars and cheaters and abusers...what do they get? More people to lie to, cheat on and use as their punching bag! It's so fucking unfair!!

    And I write this like I'm expecting any of it to change anything. I feel as if I'm forever doomed to be alone and unloved and misunderstood. I've tried to be patient but my patience is fast wearing thin and this is the first night in months that I've actually pretty seriously contemplated suicide. The only bit of relief I got this evening was nearly falling asleep listening to some music because for a moment, I was so blissfully unaware of everything, the pain I was feeling...and compared to these feelings of hopelessness and despair I am feeling now, being dead would seem like a welcome relief. The only reason I haven't yet is because...knowing my luck, there will be such a thing as reincarnation and I'll come back as me and have to do this all over again until I get it right, which will be never by the looks of it. So I'm at a stalemate right now.


    EDIT: Yes!! Damn, I must be psychic here! Once again this gets pushed back literally as soon as I post so it will go unnoticed like everything else I post lol. I'm sorry but it happens so often that I'm starting to think someone's playing a joke on me somewhere.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: May 13, 2011
  5. FBD

    FBD Well-Known Member

    I know the post feeling, mine rarely get a response. I dont know if im to blame thou...i think i might make my threads un-respondable so just to not have to worry about the feeling that gives me i dont start a lot of threads...

    Anyways, im sorry all the normal go out and meet people stuff isnt working, it sucks (not that you need me to tell you that). You're right around my age (im 21), i feel like our generation doesnt do anything besides drink anymore, I might be wrong thou. i feel like we dont do the organized group stuff anymore, like classes or different things like that. hey! maybe some of those people who are old enough to be your parents have kids our age you can meet!......haha im not sure whether thats insulting, funny, or helpful, but if was insulting im sorry

    ive had a few friendships from this site, and for the most part they dont seem to last for me with like 1 exception. for whatever reasons our talking just seemed to fizzle out, so you arent left out in not having long lasting friendships from here.

    your views on what you want in is wonderful. it sucks the way the world seems to work, just like everyone around you gets everything just by pure luck and dont deserve it. something good will happen to you, you just might have to look harder to see it. i hope you find someone to care about :) i think you will.

    im sorry ive written a book and not really offered much advice, kind of a fail by me...

    i think keep reaching out and trying to meet people, i think when you find someone who is worth it itll feel so much better from the stuff youve been through/dealt with.
     
  6. SAVE_ME

    SAVE_ME Well-Known Member

    I think you're right about the fact that folks our age tend to go out and drink a lot. I'm really not into the whole drinking scene to be honest. It all just seems creepy and unnatural to me. I would much rather bond with someone over a common interest than a pint...plus there's all those horror stories you hear of like drinks getting spiked. Plus I'm no PUA (pick up artist) so I'm no good with any of the pick up lines or anything. That and knowing my luck, I'd end up chatting up a girl who's already taken and then her fella would come along and give me a kicking for allegedly trying to get it on with his girl. Think I'll stay away from bars and clubs and stuff.

    lol no, not insulting. Actually made me laugh a little bit, thanks :)

    Don't think there's anything anyone CAN say to be honest. I think I know what to do anyway. It's just having the strength to just plod on ahead even when shit isn't necessarily going the way I planned. That's my main weakness. I always tend to give up at the first hurdle rather than sticking it out.

    I mean, I'm somewhat confident of my own abilities and things. Think I mentioned this in another thread but that's the most frustrating part for me. The fact that I KNOW I can be a great person yet sometimes I feel like I deny myself what I want by giving up so soon.

    I just like to have a bit of reassurance every now and then that things are going right and that I shouldn't give up. A little bit of hope so I can see that it's not all for naught. A little bit of sunlight amidst the storm clouds. If I go ages without seeing that it's paying off in some way, I'll just end up quitting.

    Something's gotta give! lol

    It's supersticious (and I'm a supersticious guy) but I look for signs all the time. Maybe if God, Jesus, Buddah, Santa Claus, Spongebob, Chuck Norris or whoever runs this shit around here could bloody spell it out for me, that would be nice lol
     
  7. FBD

    FBD Well-Known Member

    its definitely better to bond sober. i do enjoy drinking with people i know, if im around people i dont know i dont get really drunk, ill only have a beer or two. i dont see what the appeal is to meeting people and not remembering it the next morning.

    just keep pushing, i know its rough but you know you want to do it. hell if you need me to ill help kick you when you need it.
     
  8. tweetypie

    tweetypie Antiquities Friend

    Hi :)
    Im probably not your age either (old lady of 31) and im a boring house wife but i will answer your post LOL its hard to meet new people even when ur not trying/ trying its just harder for some people than others . Im not a person who makes friends easily and alot of my posts get one or two answers but i keep posting keep talking keep being annoying and people warm to you. Its a shame about the chat site because its a way to chat more easily. :)
     
  9. SAVE_ME

    SAVE_ME Well-Known Member

    Think I need that kick right about now lol

    I don't mind drinking and getting drunk if it's with family or friends but I'll never use it primarily as a way of meeting people. lol Exactly! I want to meet someone and remember it the next morning.

    Right now however, I just don't see anything coming out of this. I've messaged everyone who I thought seemed cool on that site. Not many people on the site to begin with and most of them don't really say enough in their profile to convince me that they would be good friends etc. Most ignored me. One blew me off as I've already gone on about that enough and the one I'm corresponding with at the moment. She isn't bad but I get the feeling I'm boring her senseless. Most guys have an angle when going about this sort of thing. A hook so to speak. I don't. I just babble on about whatever happens to pop into my head at the time for the sake of conversation. Small talk. But it just makes me seem awkward and uncomfortable. I joke too much as a defence mechanism. Anyone here like 'F.R.I.E.N.D.S.'? I'm like Chandler when I get uncomfortable around people. I get all sarcastic and overdo it with the lame jokes.

    So that was like my lifeline but I think I may have blown that too.

    I'm not usually the type to 'hook up'. It is WAAAY out of character for me to even consider a dating website but I wanted to at least give it a shot and make an effort for once to change my situation. All it's done is taken me out of my comfort zone and made me feel absolutely humiliated on the inside. I always sound like an idiot! I hate being an idiot! I find it difficult enough to get through life as it is without giving off the 'idiot' vibe in whatever I do.
     
  10. FBD

    FBD Well-Known Member

    well, first of all *kicks you* keep pushing! youll find someone sometime if you just keep looking!

    maybe its time to message a few of those people who dont say much in their profiles, they just might be shy. youll find someone who appreciates your jokes sometime, and as you said theres not a ton of people on that site, it might just not be a good site. maybe you could try another? i duno im not sure youll find the type of person youre looking for on a dating site, but hey maybe you will. im not a psychic or anything, although that could be a kinda cool thing to be....at times at least.

    try to find something thats in your comfort zone..i know youve tried a lot of things...but theres gotta be something youre forgetting right? i duno...but for what its worth i dont think youre an idiot. you seem like a decent person whos been pushed around. youve tried and had things not turn out the way you wanted them too, none of that makes you an idiot.


    o ps....*kick* again keep it up. :)
     
  11. foreverforgotten

    foreverforgotten Well-Known Member

    All that you typed is how I feel as well.
    I mean all of it. Its like I'm reading my diary.
    I don't like how people who have more than 30
    friends on facebook or msn, and can talk to people on first
    name basis, complain about not having friends.
    I talk to people.. And then eventually there's nothing to
    talk about anymore. All my attempts at friendship fade away sooner
    or later. I have not one real life friend. No phone numbers other than doctors.
    I work. but no one there is my age, or they have kids and are married,
    or have boyfriends and live with them in an apartment.
    I still live with my mom. So the relating with people thing
    Is kind of BS. No online friends can even compare with
    Real life ones ( for me anyways) because its harder for me
    to open up to people online than real life. Because atleast
    In real life you can see the persons reactions and body language.
    And real life is real life. Nothing compares.
    I'm 21 so I don't have the happiness of being in high school
    anymore surrounded with the same people everyday and
    a set schedule anymore. If I could go back I wouldve opened up so much
    more and not been afraid to make friends. I work.
    And outside of my home, no one
    Gives a crap about you in the adult world. They just don't care.
    Is college an option for you soon? That's all I have to look forward to.
    I'm basically just going there to make friends and be surrounded with
    People I will get to know( hopefull). What's the point of getting a career
    Going if my main goal in life is about finding love and having friends anyways.
    I could be happy having a shitty job as long as I have all that. But I don't.
    Sorry I'm no help. I just figured why not? I'm always on this site.
    And I've only talked to basically 2 people on here. How old are you?
    I guess I'm going to go to the book store and just be around people now.
    Ill definitely still walk out the same as I came in though. :/
    My dad and mom are exactly the same way. No friends. At all.
    They don't work so they stay in the house all day and watch tv.
    I Never want to end up like that. Your not alone in how you feel..
    Just alone in life. Which makes no sense. If everyones so lonely
    Why the heck can't we get together and be lonely together?
    I'm rambling. I'm sorry. :3
     
  12. SAVE_ME

    SAVE_ME Well-Known Member

    Anyone else here a fan of Bill Hicks? Because just the thought that there are probably a lot of lonely people out there but we all have trouble coming together kinda reminds me of this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jvM-WQP7SOw

    I kinda blew it with college. Dropped out too many times so I don't think I'd be able to get the funding to go back unless I were to suddenly amass a huge fortune overnight. Anybody got any get rich quick schemes? :tongue: I would like to go back if I could though. That's something I regret. Not sticking it out and at least getting some kind of qualification out of it. I often wonder what would've been if I hadn't of left.

    I am 22.

    I hear you about online friendships versus real life friendships. It can be difficult online. You never know if people are truely genuine or if they're lying to you and I just don't find it easy to trust people. At least in real life, I can read a person's body language and facial expressions, and hear their tone of voice etc. Plus I had an online relationship not too long ago. She was in the US. It didn't cut it for me. I need to be with someone I can see and hug and hold and kiss etc.

    I thank you for the reply. From one lonely person to another: :hug: I hope your situation improves for you soon. We loners have to stick together, right? :)

    Ha ha, ow! Ok...will try :)
     
  13. longholiday

    longholiday New Member

    Hi, i would definitly say i feel the same as you mate, lonliness is the worst thing, and would totally agree with the fact i wish i was back in my school days. Im 24 and i spend most of my time at home trying to scratch a living. basically i just wanted to say your not the only one who feels this way, i dont really have any advice just to offer the fact that you aint alone in the way ure thinking. Hope this reply dont sound too stupid.
     
  14. SAVE_ME

    SAVE_ME Well-Known Member

    No, don't worry, it didn't sound stupid at all. It's good to know that others get where I'm coming from with this. Sometimes I think I sound stupid when I go off on little rants like this. Often makes me come across as a bitter and twisted individual but I don't mean to be. I'd prefer to talk about more positives but when I'm frustrated, I'm frustrated and I need to let it out somehow. My family aren't exactly the easiest people to talk to about this stuff so if I vent here and someone else can relate, well then at least it helps to know that I'm not alone.

    I'm lonely but I'm not alone lol cwutididthar? :tongue:
     
  15. longholiday

    longholiday New Member

    Yeh Your definitly not alone in the way you feel. You sound alot like me on my bad days. I joined this forum when my girlfriend left me 2 years ago, we were together for 5 years and had our whole future planned together. After that i was just left feeling like whats the point anymore. My whole life kinda spirelled out of control. I guess the hardest thing was i moved to a new area and met her and all my friends revolved around her and so when she left i lost most of well i say friends but more aquentances. Just have to muddle through i guess. but yeh even 2 years on i still feel lonely, like unable to connect with other girls, not through lack of trying just seemed pointless. Anyway i dont wish to rant, just to let u know you definitly aint alone in the way you feel. My only advice is hang in there, and i guess try think bit more posatively. LOL wish i could take my own advice! cwutididthar? is that welsh?
     
  16. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    You know you sell the old people short.. Have you sat down with them and talked to them?? They have some pretty good stories to tell.. They may even know some stuff to help you with your search for love..Just because they are old doesn't mean there dead... They have lived a whole life of experiences..