Lonely And Empty

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by W Miller, Sep 23, 2014.

  1. W Miller

    W Miller Well-Known Member

    Lonely And Empty.

    I'm just so damn lonely, and pathetic. This is a far cry from what my life used to be. I was the life of the party, and a joy to be around, most of the time. Now all I is wait for people to contact me, so I can talk (mostly about their problems). I doubt people really care how the heck I"m doing, at all. That is fine, I guess, since I feel better when helping others. However, with that said, is it really all the bad, to ask of people to for just a second, to even enquirer about how I"m doing?!?

    I just feel its bone crunching, and I really don't know how much longer a man can stay this isolated, and lonely.

    I'm becoming bitter, as well, and I don't like this about myself. Its getting even hard to see past the fake selfish people in the world. I'm still maintaining some hope, that there are a few good people left. This hope is decreasing every day.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Sorry you are feeling so alone Hope coming here helps some although i know it is not the same but there are caring people here I think more so then in real life
    If you can try to take up something new t hat will help you meet new people make new friends if you can hugs
  3. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Don't give up just yet there's so many good people in the world this forum is proof of that in itself I also think that many of those ''fake'' people are either people who are just trying to impress their peers or they are suffering with self esteem issues. Some of the nicest people I've ever met have been to hell and back and then there's the ones who think they are above everyone else, they are not worth your time! :)
    There's so much evil in this world but also so much good so try and keep some faith hun :hug:

    If you need anyone to talk to, I'm here :)
  4. W Miller

    W Miller Well-Known Member

    Oh, thank you total eclipse. Yes coming here does help. Online friends are all I have left.

    Thanks for your suggestion, and I'll try.

    Thanks you Petal, and your support is greatly appreciated. I know there must be other good people out there, I've just yet to meet them.

    Everyone here has been really kind so far. I know I pretend to be so tough, but, I actually a sensitive guy.

  5. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    You are very welcome =)

    I am very sensitive too, always have been even as a kid but I can mask that at times other times I fail miserably.
    I am glad you joined here, you seem happier and much more positive since you have joined, maybe it was realizing that you are not alone and there are people willing to help :)

    Big hugs to you :)
  6. Gergin

    Gergin Well-Known Member

    I wish i knew what to say, but,
    I understand where you are coming from, I feel the same way sometimes.
    I hope things get better for you.
  7. W Miller

    W Miller Well-Known Member

    Thank you Petal and Big hugs back to you. I am really sensitive, and at times I hide it by joking at my own expense. Try as I may (playing games here / joining in banter), I just can't shake this bone crushing loneliness. I don't know I would say I'm more positive actually, more I'm realizing other people need my help, and helping others give me a purpose in life. This is a lonely weekend for me. The next few months will of a great challenge for me. It will take every ounce of strength I have to survive. I'll do my best.

    Thank you Gergin and I'm sorry you are also feeling the same way. Loneliness is just horrible, and being alone with our thoughts can at times be dangerous.

    I truly hope things get better for you as well.
  8. W Miller

    W Miller Well-Known Member

    I don't know really anymore. I'm starting to realize that either I accept the fact that I will always be alone, and learn to embrace the solitude, or wind up a miserable bitter old bastard. I've known may of those types in my years, and never even for a second thought I might one day better understand just where they are/were coming from. I see just how easy it is to become bitter.

    I have had so so many people turn their backs on me, when all I ever did was show live. I gave every ounce of myself, and just never got back what I put into my friendships/relationships, it always been one-sided. When they're doing great, they simply made up excuses to get rid of me.

    I'll admit it if that helps people better understand me. I just do not trust people at all anymore, and eventually I feel people will stab me in the back as has always been the case with me. For this reason, I keep people at a safe distance, and I know this makes some people uncomfortable. Its simply what I've become now, and (my) life has taught me that people will always disappoint each and every time I allow them to get close, so I stay well guarded now. I only have a small portion of my heart to work with now anyway, as most of my heart was given out to those with the intention of ripping it out for their own pleasure(s)/joy(s).

    I'm finding it really hard now to see the good in people when they continue to show their asses each and every time. I've spent years and years pretending I was stupid, and unaware of the fact that I was being "played". Now, I simply can not do that anymore.

    With all that said, this loneliness and emptiness is eating up what little life I have left in me, and each day that goes by, I'm isolating even further (if that's even possible). Any small hope of fulfillment is being replace by nothing but despair.

    Soon there will be nothing left of me, and I'm just watching it happen every day that goes by and don't know what to about it, or how to stop this cycle.
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 12, 2014
  9. W Miller

    W Miller Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry I was angry that day.

    Leaning to embrace the solitude.