Lonely and sick of it all

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by NinjaSwan, Jun 8, 2009.

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  1. NinjaSwan

    NinjaSwan Active Member

    I dunno what to do anymore. I've never wanted to die so badly. I'm starting to figure what is really at the bottom of my depression, but I dunno how to improve my stiuation. I'm done holding in all my feelings. I'm done trying to act like everything is OK to others. I need someone I can trust. I need someone who can be there for me to talk to me when I need to, to hug me when I'm down, as pathetic as it sounds. My parents, "friends", family, everyone who I thought I could trust don't give a D*** anymore. The only person who I feel I might be able to trust, the only person who has ever treated me with an ounce of respect, I'm afraid to tell anything to. I'm afraid because I don't want to drive her away, and the fear of my feelings being rejected again like they are nothing is hard to get over. I feel sick to my stomach, I just want somebody, ANYBODY, to be there for me.
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi Ninjaswan

    welcome back to the forums :hug:

    I'm sorry you're feeling so alone :sad:
    Maybe it would help if you had a counsellor? Please don't try to cope with this alone..
    Also, you're not alone here :hug:
  3. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    I am here for you! I can't be right next to you to give you a hug but you can not scare me off and I would be a good listener and give ya pep talks too.

    You can PM me if you want to talk in private...

    This forum gave me a lot of what your looking for so there is HOPE..please hang in there.

  4. WildCherry

    WildCherry ADMIN

    You can PM me anytime if you need someone to talk to.
  5. NinjaSwan

    NinjaSwan Active Member

    Thank you all for the replies :biggrin:

    I'm seeing a therapist weekly, along with taking meds. And it's not really helping at all. I get told basically the same thing every week- "get more exercise, eat healthier, maybe we should change the kind of meds" etc. All of which I do, but it's not helping :blink:
  6. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    How long have you been going? It does take time...and finding the right meds can take frustrating long.
    I hope you can see from the replies that there are people who care!
    Hang it there and know your not alone.

  7. WildCherry

    WildCherry ADMIN

    The right meds can help, but the process of finding that right one can really be frustrating!!
  8. NinjaSwan

    NinjaSwan Active Member

    I've been going for about 7 months now. And the merry-go-round of meds has been frustrating. I'm switching again next week :awww:
  9. mdmefontaine

    mdmefontaine Antiquities Friend

    hey, glad you posted and shared this

    you are not pathetic, in needing someone to listen, to hold you, to care for you.

    we all, need that.

    i hope you find support here at sf., and you already have very caring people posting to your thread
    pm me anytime, if you want to talk
    (major hugs)
  10. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi,I think you need you need to explain to your therapist that what you're doing now isnt helping. Hopefully she can come up with something better!
    Or if she doesn't seem to be helping..maybe its time to see a different one!
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