I dunno what to do anymore. I've never wanted to die so badly. I'm starting to figure what is really at the bottom of my depression, but I dunno how to improve my stiuation. I'm done holding in all my feelings. I'm done trying to act like everything is OK to others. I need someone I can trust. I need someone who can be there for me to talk to me when I need to, to hug me when I'm down, as pathetic as it sounds. My parents, "friends", family, everyone who I thought I could trust don't give a D*** anymore. The only person who I feel I might be able to trust, the only person who has ever treated me with an ounce of respect, I'm afraid to tell anything to. I'm afraid because I don't want to drive her away, and the fear of my feelings being rejected again like they are nothing is hard to get over. I feel sick to my stomach, I just want somebody, ANYBODY, to be there for me.