Lonely

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Windmillx, Sep 23, 2013.

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  1. Windmillx

    Windmillx New Member

    Today I feel sad. I'm lonely.
    I feel inadequate and unappreciated by the person I care the most about.
    This is why I strayed away from him the first time.
    I ended up kissing someone else to feel wanted. All I wanted was to be appreciated. But that's the past, and this is now.
    Now, I'm trying to better myself and be a wonderful partner. To show I'm worthy of forgiveness. That I do have a heart only for him and that I made a mistake. And it feels like things are going well for a while, till the random "cheater" reminders are brought up out of no where. Or tells me I'm not affectionate enough when I'm trying so hard to show him how deeply I am in love with him. This is only breaking down my already fragile self-esteem. It's unreal how these seemingly small remarks can cut down so deep within you. There's so much more but I feel it's unnecessary to explain.
    I don't really have anyone to talk to about these things. I get so sad. It feels as though its all collecting in my chest. It makes breathing difficult and I just always sob. Just the most heartbreaking cry you've ever heard.
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    It is very cruel for him to use the past as black mail really hun He has no right to harm you like that. Please hun you take care of YOU ok if he continues to do this time to reevaluate your relationship with him He does not love you if he chooses to harm you
     
  3. Windmillx

    Windmillx New Member

    Thank you, total eclipse. I'm slowly starting to realize things probably won't get better. It's heartbreaking. But his actions and words are just toxic sometimes. He made me completely question myself and shattered any self confidence I did have. It's too bad though. I know he is a wonderful person but he has his own demons. But when I think of ending things I get the overwhelming sense of isolation. It's scary. I really wouldn't have anyone after that.
     
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You can create a new life for you one that will have people respect you and care for you hun You do not need to be alone hun He has isolated you already but when time is right you will know what to do
    If you just chose to seperate for awhile so you can heal and get on a better path for you You don't have to be alone hun you reach out to people who will support you
     
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