Today I feel sad. I'm lonely. I feel inadequate and unappreciated by the person I care the most about. This is why I strayed away from him the first time. I ended up kissing someone else to feel wanted. All I wanted was to be appreciated. But that's the past, and this is now. Now, I'm trying to better myself and be a wonderful partner. To show I'm worthy of forgiveness. That I do have a heart only for him and that I made a mistake. And it feels like things are going well for a while, till the random "cheater" reminders are brought up out of no where. Or tells me I'm not affectionate enough when I'm trying so hard to show him how deeply I am in love with him. This is only breaking down my already fragile self-esteem. It's unreal how these seemingly small remarks can cut down so deep within you. There's so much more but I feel it's unnecessary to explain. I don't really have anyone to talk to about these things. I get so sad. It feels as though its all collecting in my chest. It makes breathing difficult and I just always sob. Just the most heartbreaking cry you've ever heard.