Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by apenn77, May 23, 2015.

  1. apenn77

    apenn77 New Member

    All my life I've been kind of a loner which is okay. Generally I enjoy doing things by myself as most people annoy the crap out if me. But all my life I believed I would find that one somebody, my soul mate I guess, who would understand me and we would live happily ever after. I'm 37 now and still alone..Its hard for me to believe there's anyone out there. I've been in a few relationships but no guy has ever stayed or thought I was important enough to say for. I just feel this emptiness inside that no one relates to. If I have to spend this life alone I just don't want to anymore. I feel like a loser like I've never been good enough for anyone. This feeling has lately been taking over my mind and I can't stop crying. I just want to find someone who understands and loves me for me.
  2. GreySilence

    GreySilence Well-Known Member

    I can totally relate, Apenn. I've dated a few times, and it's like no matter how nice I feel I've been to my partners, they always seem to leave me in the end. I'm by no means a bad person, but they left me anyway, often leaving me confused and doubtful of myself. Just because you get dumped, don't let it inflict you with the feeling that you are not lovable or you're not good enough. Sometimes there's just incompatibility issues with people, it's not anyone's fault really.

    In order to be more attractive to others, it's important to try your best to have an optimistic outlook on life. When someone is smiling and enjoying life, it's much easier to approach them and enjoy being around them. It's hard to get into this positive mindset about things, but I feel like it's rather necessary when you're trying to look for a partner. Most of my relationships seemed to have not worked out for the simple reason that one, or both of us were not content with their life before going into the relationship. A strong relationship is built on a strong foundation, and it's much more likely to succeed if both participants are already happy alone to an extent. When one is not in a good emotional state, they may be too clingy, not confident enough to bring up any issues out of fear of losing the other, and they may depend on their partner too much for their happiness, and a couple other reasons.

    So, basically, I think you have to focus on your own happiness as the first step, and seek romance after you've established your happiness. Is there something that's causing your unhappiness besides being lonely?
  3. apenn77

    apenn77 New Member

    You are completely and totally right GreySilence. I would love to be happy and sometimes I am. I wish I knew what was causing my unhappiness, it certainly isn't anything in the material world. I have a good job, my health, looks, I just have always found it difficult to connect with other people. The funny thing is if you asked anyone that knew me, they would be shocked I felt this way and more shocked I was even on here! I guess I hide it well. I just thought I would be further along in life by now I guess.

    I have one guy who I have been close friends with for over ten years, I always thought I would end up with him. He has PTSD issues from the war, he was a marine, and in the past year he has become so distant and I basically have lost my only real friend. I is really hard for me to put myself out there to meet people, I really don't even know how. Most guys I encounter are only looking for sexual things and that's not where I want to start.

    I would give anything to enjoy life like other people do. I was doing alright, I guess I am in a slump and need to find a way to get out of it. Being on here has helped me this past day, it really has. I feel like this is a place where I am not judged and I can post my true feelings. Thank you so much for listening. It does mean a lot:)