Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Pingu, Sep 14, 2008.

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  1. Pingu

    Pingu Well-Known Member

    im a 16 year old boy, and i been suffering from depression and suicidal thoughts in over a year now..
    i havent gone out of my house in 4 months now, only a few times to the store and back, and its so fucking boring.. i lost all my self confidence, and i've become a boring person.. im loosing all my friends, and all human contact..
    im so sick of this life, i already tried to kill myself several times, but failed..
    i quit school, and all other stuff.. my parents are sick of me, and they really dont give a shit about me anymore, and i know they wont be sad when i die.. they just see me as their kid who failed life..
    i cry every day, and i feel like im a ticking bomb about to explode any minute..
    why do i have to feel this way? why cant i just be like everyone else..
    im so fucking lonely, i dont have a single person on this earth that cares about me anymore.. every single time i get ready to do my ''method'' i just chicken out.. and im afraid im gonna make it next time i try..
    just one day.. one day without feeling so depressed and lonely would be heaven to me..

    I know your probably thinking this is somthing that will go over soon, but i tell you, it wont, it will only get worse.. ive been crying like hell for a year now, and i feel like shit.. yeah i know, im such a looser..
    but im not gonna stay for long in this forum, sorry, i'm not sure how long i can manage to stay alive..
  2. innocencexisxlove

    innocencexisxlove Well-Known Member

    :hug: hon, i'm here if you need to talk<33
    i'll listen, and try and help you feel less lonely
  3. titanic

    titanic Well-Known Member

    Hi, I hope you find SF forum a safe and open place to dicuss your feelings in confidence and its great that you are considering staying for a while to talk. What happened a year ago that's triggered all those tears?
  4. Pingu

    Pingu Well-Known Member

    its not going to make much sence to you if i tell you.. but i hate absolutely every single thing in my life.. and im gonna be lonely and depressed for the rest of my life.. i hate my parents so much, all they care about is my brothers and sisters, because they are more ''successful'' than me
  5. titanic

    titanic Well-Known Member

    Hi, do you come from a large family? Success is not the measure of your worth as a human being, what would make you feel valued and loved?
  6. Pingu

    Pingu Well-Known Member

    what would make me feel valued and loved? That would be parents that care about me, having a girlfriend and friends that actually call and atleast say hi when i log into msn
  7. patacake

    patacake Well-Known Member

    Sweetie , i hope u are made to feel more valued soon , u are really needing that input , im around lots if u need to talk :hug:
  8. Pingu

    Pingu Well-Known Member

    thanks, i appreciate it :smile:
  9. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hello Kewlcheese,
    I can't remember what it is called, but here in this town is a public class for people who have dropped out of school to help you graduate. Check around and see if there is one where you are?
    I personally dropped out in twelfth grade. I was to busey getting high and drunk everyday. You really should attend some kind of class you will need that paper to get a decent job. Hell now adays you need a diploma from college. I tried an in home schooling to get a diploma. I couldn't concentrate so I quit.
    This time I quit because my mind wanders and gets all tangled up, I couldn't get thru the first study course. Ever since I applied for this course and then quit, I keep getting messages on line trying to get me to sign up for classes thru them (not, it aint happening) I have a stack of books I haven't read yet because I can't get my mind to settle down.
    Please don't do anything rash! keep posting here and we will try to help you understand what is going on with you. You really need a therapist because they can dig deeper than us to get answers. Don't be afraid to open up. No one will judge you!!! Give it a go and see what happens...:chopper:...
  10. Pingu

    Pingu Well-Known Member

    hey stranger
    i quit school because i couldnt handle it, its too much for me..
    i know i wont get a job, but what do i need a job for when im most likely dead next week..
    i'm lost, its no point trying to help me (i appreciate it though) i just wanted to let it out, and it felt a little better..
    i just cant handle being so sad anymore..
  11. darkplace

    darkplace Well-Known Member

    here if you want to talk :) .. brown cheese is wierd lol
  12. Pingu

    Pingu Well-Known Member

    tastes nice tho :cool:
  13. Pingu

    Pingu Well-Known Member

    i was gonna do it today, i was so certain i would.. but no, i just ended up looking at my method for 4 fucking hours then i gave up, wtf is wrong with me?
  14. ToddMAdl

    ToddMAdl Well-Known Member

    Your natural instincts to not want to die that your brain has is keeping you from actually killing yourself. Do you really want to just off yourself or do you actually want things to get better? I've been in your shoes somewhat, not to your extreme extent but I've wanted to quit many times. There have been many times I've thought that I had no friends, that there wasn't a lady out there for me but the truth is there is for everyone. You just have to be a little proactive about it. Find people that are willing to talk to you, find people that share your interests, that you can strike up a conversation with and try to be friendly and charming. These days fortunately also if you are having a tough time finding someone you know to talk to there is the internet where you can meet and talk to all sorts of people online. I've spent many hours just lounging around my house growing up doing nothing being all depressed but when you stay in your house for that long it worsens your depression. You will feel better in both the longrun and shortrun if you actually go out and do something that you enjoy. We are what we do. Teenage hormones are terrible, your feelings are the most intense they will ever be in your whole life during the teenage years. I know because I'm only two-three years older than you.
  15. Mightbehere

    Mightbehere Well-Known Member

    Write back tomorrow or when you can and take the advice, theres still plenty of time to change your life or at least try to.
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